onIy2jae

jaime. i miss you so much 

no wait haha someone said to me "you try so hard but youre still in the same place" and shes actually right. 

i like the pessimist me more. being optimistic doesnt feel like me and being optimistic makes me anxious. but then again being pessimistic has become such a comfort zone that im not growing anymore

its almost as if i cant allow myself to relax because once i do, i will do something wrong. its like i have to always be kept in check.. i have to be hard on myself! im doing this because i have to

i tried being kind to me. i tried telling my brain to not be so hard on myself. and guess where that got me??????? MORE MISTAKES. i knew it. i knew that from the moment i allow myself to breathe a little, i do more wrong. its like if i dont control me, im gonna make more bad u know what i mean

r u not even embarassed??!!??? DUMBASS YOU

ure soooooooooo stupid and i CANNOT believe youre going to show up at work tomorrow

no matter how hard you check on things,
          the amount of time spent on making sure u got everything correctly. when u make a mistake. its a mistake. theres no more chances

bye youre so stupid u dont even deserve

i am angry, broken, confused, guilty