.

you're a ghost. total ghost.

This is Michantayle(alt acc) helpppp I can't log in to this acc, what should I dooooo?

I've been thinking about lots of things lately. Got lots of questions and insecurities stacking up in my mind as if it's going to make a tower that aims to reach the heavens. 
          
          I'm in lots of doubt. I feel confused. 
          
          I don't know what to feel anymore.
          
          Everything just feels so heavy.
          
          I'm going to college. Just a month or two and I'll be entering the hectic and scary world. I'm quite excited, but at the same time it's draining me.
          
          I still have no course in mind. Haven't enrolled in any school either. It seems that I am lost. 
          
          At first I wanted to pursue a course that is related to art. But everyone around me is saying that I SHOULD take a high paying and in demand course such as ENGINEERING, NURSING, ETC. they say that those courses suit me more because I am a "smart" person (in their eyes) as I am the class valedictorian and a consistent honor student. Their desires and suggestions are putting weight on my shoulder. 
          
          Running free from those weight scares me, I don't want to disappoint them. I don't want to disappoint anybody. 
          
          But as I carry their "dreams", as I force myself to pick each of their opinions, I'm slowly forgetting about my own desires. I'm slowly forgetting about the things that I really really want to do.
          
          Now I have nowhere to go.
          
          Where should I go?
          
          Whose opinion should I follow?
          
          
          
          

Can you upload ‘again’ pleaseee *crying emoji* I just re-read it n I need a update pleaseeeee

If given a chance, I want to go back in time and not Love you anymore. In my next life, I don't want to meet you.
          
          Please, let's not cross our paths again.

I was given the bare minimum, I never complained, because back then I thought, 
          
          "maybe you couldn't buy me flowers or gifts because you don't know that it gives me butterflies."
          
          "Maybe you couldn't flex me online because, it's unnecessary."
          
          "Maybe you couldn't visit me in my school because your school has a hectic schedule and you don't want to waste money on fare."
          
          "Maybe you don't see my messages even if you're online because you're busy doing your projects."
          
          "Maybe you have a lot of accounts and couldn't even give me the pass because you think it is unnecessary and that trust is more important. "
          
          But one day.. I just woke up and realized that I am tired of thinking. I'm tired of defending you to my instincts. I'm tired of making excuses for you.
          
          You can't exert an effort for me because I'm not important to you. That's it. You never give me flowers not because you're not aware, but because you never cared and you're not interested. You never posted me on social media because I was not as pretty as those on your friendlist. You never visited me at my school because you don't want to see me. You don't seen my message because you're bored at me. You have a lot of accounts and never gave me one simply because you are hiding something from me and that you never intended on being faithful to me.
          
          You never cared about how I felt. I felt unvalued, you know. I never cared, and was never interested. And I wished you just told me that you don't like me instead of beating around the bush, uttering sweet words but acting the exact opposite.
          
          You ruined my perception of love. 
          
          You made me learn.
          
          You lost me. 

May God draw my future where my love for the dusk remains. 

Merry Christmas, authorrr