this message may be offensive
I'm only human. I admit that i've lied. I admit that I'm a piece of shit. I admit that I am no different to C. But I wouldn't betray. I'm sorry. I made mistakes, most shouldn't be forgiven. I regret everything I did. Sometimes, I wish I could have the power to turn back in time and correct my mistakes. I long for your forgiveness. I know, this may be impossible to reach out to you, and hear me out. I know, you'd just neglect this. But it's worth trying. It's already been months since I last messaged you. That I'd prove myself. But I couldn't. I was too much of a coward. I was weak. I was afraid, that you'd hate me. I still hadn't moved on. I missed those days, when I'd wake up hurrying to get my phone and message you. Those days, when I laughed and smiled reading your messages. I just wish that I could go back in time, and bring back those joyful memories. Though, mistakes were made. And the past can't be brought back. Still, I wanted to prove myself. But I was conscious, I overthought everything. I knew that I'd probably be humiliated for only coming up with a response to your point, after months of sulking. When one of you messaged me before, claiming I was the enemy. I was hurt. It still hurts, having the thought of you believing that I'd do such a thing. If I hadn't had done such foolish things before, then everything would've been fine up to now. Then I'd still be there. But no, I had to fuck up what made me happy. In the end, I hurt a lot of people. I lost close friends, I lost their trust. I even hurt myself, because of my own selfish behaviour. Still, I long for your forgiveness. I hoped everyday that one day, you'd figure out the truth. That I'm not her. I gave up already, since I can't defend myself. I gave up, because I thought I deserved such hatred. I might be overreacting, I think not though. You're right, I'm no different to her. I'll just accept it, I can't do anything about it anyway. Why should I bother?
I'm sorry.
