I don't intend for anyone to see this but if you do, please don't approach me about it.
I've never properly vented out my feelings to someone and I don't plan on breaking that record now, but I feel so lonely. It's hard to bear, really, and my two best internet friends (whom I've been best internet friends with for over a year now) probably find it awkward to speak with me. I'm very shy and reserved, and ever since my wifi got bad, I've been given fewer chances to speak to talk to these two friends. I had the chance to last week and we all planned on playing Minecraft + call like we used to do all the time but it never happened. Then I found that my friend has been playing with their new friends. When I say new friends, I mean recently met, not my replacements but the latter is exactly what I'm worried about happening. I have abandonment issues and I don't want to stop being friends because they're the best people I've ever met and I even have a crush on one.
I know that my being replaced is close to inevitable. My circumstances just make it difficult.
I have bad wifi, my mother is giving birth to twins, I'm shy and always assume the worst. "They don't like me anymore," is all that's going through my head when I think of them.
It's just that I love these two friends. They helped me through the worst year of my life and I never told them about the problems I was having in real life. It makes me sad, thinking about us drifting apart.
