Jenna Garner

Hi, if you are reading this please help me. I need some english people opinion on my first English story .thank you
           https://www.wattpad.com/story/182309322?utm_source=android&utm_medium=link&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details_button&wp_uname=ppisou&wp_originator=49yLIZ4RAXGvnyF8G7RfUmNmVC8EolBsy%2FXHM3DUb%2BpdErmwT9oI%2BbFOqmvoy5QV8tD2OCAVjuxy5Iqbh7BEmFfwPdpne%2F3q613OfmpRIFSSo1WrMmzLhGo8QuCXD7WP

So I have continued the story adopted by logan paul bc I lost my old account dout you would care.