justifysuffering

@sunbIeachedfIies 
            
            "Oh. That⸺sucks." Ness feels bad for them, he really does. He knows his dad is happy with his mom, and Gwen is surely happy with Janie's mom, but part of him wishes it had worked out for them. The thought of being that young and going through heartbreak sounds miserable. He can't imagine the pain they both felt. "I'm [...] I'm sorry for bringing it up. I thought he wasn't being honest about it."

@goldenyears⠀⠀&&.⠀⠀[Despite not wanting to, Gwen can still remember that day like it were yesterday. Not just him leaving, or them saying their goodbyes, but the breakup itself. She doesn't think, even to this day, that anything she's gone through has ever hurt quite that much. Not her dad dying, or even Henry. It was inevitable, something that loomed over them for the entirety of senior year, and yet, when the day finally came, she still wasn't ready.]⠀That's pretty much all there is to it. We were never going to work out. 

@sunbIeachedfIies 
            
            Ness takes a moment to process, even though his dad already (briefly) told him his side of things. He nods to himself, even though Gwen can't see hin through the phone, moreso a reflex than anything. "I just⸺wanted to hear your side. Dad was pretty vague about it, just said you broke up because college and distance." 

@sunbIeachedfIies 
            
            "No. Just⸺Just Ness." 

@goldenyears⠀⠀&&.⠀⠀It's nice to meet you, Ness. That short for anything? 

@sunbIeachedfIies 
            
            "Uh, Ness. Ness Tozier."

@viewvillages⠀⠀&&.⠀⠀[Gwen, in all honesty, knows where he's coming from. Uncertainty, insecurity about yourself and the way other's perceive you; she understands it, because she's experienced it her whole life. She's just more optimistic about it than he is, it seems.]⠀Mm.⠀[She hums quietly, tilting her head until its sideways, her cheek flush against his chest.]⠀Well, for what it's worth, I don't see you that way. And I doubt anyone else does. 

@sunbIeachedfIies 
            
            Tic shrugs dismissively. He sees himself a certain way and always has, as something that doesn't look right and doesn't appeal to others. He doesn't understand how Gwen sees him as something different than that. "I just don't. It's⸺complicated." 

@viewvillages⠀⠀&&.⠀⠀[Gwen doesn't bother to deny it. It's probably true, in all honesty (with how in love she is, it wouldn't surprise her), but she still hates hearing him talk this way about himself.]⠀I just don't understand how you don't see what I see. You're so beautiful. 

@sunbIeachedfIies 
            
            "The feeling's mutual, sweetheart."

@viewvillages⠀⠀&&.⠀⠀Good. 'Cause I'll be yours till we're old 'n gray. And probably long after that, too. 

@sunbIeachedfIies 
            
            "And I'm more than happy about that."

@sunbIeachedfIies 
            
            "Really? That's⸺surprising."

@viewvillages⠀⠀&&.⠀⠀What if I like when you aren't..? 

@sunbIeachedfIies 
            
            "It's not respectful of a lady for me to say such things, though. At least let me attempt to be nice to you."

@sunbIeachedfIies 
            
            "I'm just telling the truth, my love." Tic offers her a soft smile in return, small yet genuine. He can't help but always have the thought and consequent urge to tell her how breathtaking he finds her, despite how many times he already has in the past. 

@viewvillages⠀⠀&&.⠀⠀[Gwen's smile is immediate, warm and bright─like the morning sun peeking over the horizon. No matter how many times he's told her that, every time feels like the first.]⠀That never gets old. 

@sunbIeachedfIies 
            
            His heart aches at her words, and he has to fight back the urge to hold her hands, to comfort her. He isn't allowed to anymore, but talking about the pain makes the desire grow. He keeps his eyes downcast and occupies his hands by picking at the skin on his fingers. "It's not stupid. Like you said, you knew the sentiment behind it⸺it makes sense you couldn't get rid of it." 

@viewvillages⠀⠀&&.⠀⠀[Gwen wishes she didn't understand where he was coming from. She wishes this could be easy─a single conversation that will tie up all their loose ends─but she knows, deep down, that it'll never be that simple.]⠀I know the feeling.⠀[She admits, her own gaze shifting from him.]⠀I still have that necklace you bought me, and every single time I used to think about getting rid of it, I just─couldn't. It sounds kind of stupid to say out loud, but it's like part of me knew how significant it was. 

@sunbIeachedfIies 
            
            He can't meet her gaze. Part of him is ashamed at the confession, has been his entire adult life, but he needed to get it off his chest. "Yeah. It's like [..] the little kid in me's been screaming for something I couldn't find. Like there's been a hole in my chest for years that I couldn't fill, no matter how hard I tried."

@sunbIeachedfIies 
            
            Tic's eyes flutter at the contact of her nose before immediately widening at the hand on his leg, shoulders tensing the slightest bit. His mouth dries at her explanation, heart in his throat. It's completely new territory, affection in public, especially something so obvious that they can't explain away. He doesn't know how to react. He knows, realistically, that this is a safe space, that they won't be judged for something as simple yet intimate as a kiss, but something deep in his chest grows terrified at the thought. All he can manage is a soft shake of his head in response, eyes shifting down to her hand on his leg. 

@viewvillages⠀⠀&&.⠀⠀[Gwen's smile doesn't falter, and she tilts her head until her nose brushes his jaw─just a small, almost playful nudge.]⠀Mhm.⠀[She hums softly, her gaze falling toward their hands once more. Her free hand slides toward his thigh, resting just above his knee.]⠀More importantly, though─⠀[She begins, glancing back up. There's a slight glimmer in her eye now, a familiar spark of mischief that always seemed to surface around him.]⠀Are you done overthinking this?⠀[She asks, letting the implications hang between them, before continuing.]⠀'Cause I really wanna kiss you right now. 

@sunbIeachedfIies 
            
            Tic finally lets his gaze shift to Gwen, a soft but wobbly smile settling on his lips. His thumb brushes over the back of her hand, hoping to soothe the both of them. The thought of being recognized had crossed his mind once or twice, but no Derry resident would ever even think about stepping into a gay bar, so Tic isn't as worried about it due to the logistics. "You doin' okay?" he asks softly. 

**behind his back

@sunbIeachedfIies 
            
            Tic's own lips pull into a wide grin, eyes crinkling at the corners. She knows him better than that, and he knows that⸺but why not attemot to tickle her funny bone? He pulls a small bag out from behind his bag and offers it to the other, grin still persistent. "Happy birthday, Dolly." 

@viewvillages⠀⠀&&.⠀⠀[Gwen, despite the deadpan delivery, isn't fooled for a single second. She knows him too well to be taken in by such a transparent ruse. Regardless, her eyes roll, lips twitching into a fond smile.]⠀Oh,⠀[She giggles, her grin wide and infectious.]⠀You're  / so /  not funny. 

/⠀definitely yelling into the void rn but wtv