yuna

i kept losing my mind for the past two years because i never got a break and now that i'm getting one, i didn't realize you could live this way too.
          
          ​you can make mistakes and still be happy about it (i painted mount fuji but fuji wasn't fujing yet i was happy when i finished it, i restarted gym again despite knowing how bad my form is, there's no one judging me for it, rather people are helping me escape my body image issues --- not completely, just momentarily at least, and it's liberating).
          
          ​if this was how you told me living would be like, i don't think i would have thought about dying, wanting a car to crash me. i'm finally feeling myself, not wholly, just bit by bit. i am starting to understand that i never really wanted to be sad and gain all attention, i wanted validation because i was never in peace with myself. even now when i type this, i'm not.
          
          ​but i haven't felt this happy in a while, i haven't laughed this good in a while, i haven't smiled this well in a while, i haven't been in a constant good mood the entire day.
          
          ​i just hope i get to do this every three to four months. getting to do this after two years is so relieving. i hope you guys get to do it too <3

sleep schedule so fucked I can't seem to sleep before 2 am now

womanhood is so insane. i literally watched my mum get selected for the interview round for civil services (0.025% of the applicants reach the interview) two weeks after she delivered my brother, pull herself up while dealing with a problematic mother-in-law, get rejected because of the lack of time she had between labor and the interview, get herself together again for the next attempt, miss it again because of the household duties a woman is expected to do, take up driving again to fight against the misogyny that all women are bad drivers, hit a wall, break it, and never drive again. she worked her ass off in government service for 12 years, took a long leave, and picked up a random hobby she loves but was never trained for because of poverty; now that she has the money for it, she ensures she gets the best tutor who can train her the right way. she lost her taste buds in the name of serving men the food they want; she no longer recognizes herself, her likes, her dislikes.
          
          ​yet she stands, stronger than ever.
          
          

LOVE THE THEME AHHHHHH

"i am not in highschool anymore"

racism in 21st century sounds ridiculous to me

Wait is this something new?

having a female crush is so good that the moment you feel like you will never see her again, you feel sick to your stomach for not initiating a conversation. send help.
          
          (fyi having male crushes can feel the same but I don't regret not talking to them)

theme is sooo goood <333 the bio has my heart!

happy happy festa to all my friends i met through bts <333 each one of you are very dear to me. thank you for being in my life <33