@ jeongsaa personally i really like it, i don't think your writing is bad, i do think maybe adding images or using music could help with overall feeling of the chapter, that could add like an extra layer to the chapter itself, but i don't think you have bad writing. I don't write fanfics, but i write stories for myself, one thing that helps me, it's just reading a lot of different stories, like romance, fantasy, mistery even horror novels, cause the more content you consume the more you learn, still i think your story is good so far, so keep up the good work