itzyeddeong

i miss you :(

hi everyone, how have you been? it's been a long time since i wrote my last story. time flies so fast. i’m in my second year of college as of now and everything is going fine at least (?)
          
          i’m currently listening to a song titled somewhere only we know, the acoustic version by the macarons project. i suddenly remembered those days where i will run here in this app to publish another chapter of a story or publish another story. either to release my emotion or just to make my readers happy. i tried rereading my stories and i laugh at how bad my stories were written (even though im still bad at writing in english until now) but well, i still feel great that i was able to write stories that some of you enjoyed. 
          
          i’m sorry that i went on hiatus without telling a word. i kinda went out of my comfort zone when i became a freshman. i gained some circle of friends. i developed some bad habits which includes drinking alcoholic beverages, smoking cigarettes/e-cigar, which made me happy i wouldn't deny (but please, im not encouraging anyone to do this). i also got myself tattooed. i have total of 13 tattoos now (im not also encouraging anyone to have one esp if you're not sure of what you want to put on your skin because tattoos are permanent). 
          
          anyway, i hope everyone's doing great. i hope y'all are studying/working well. i wish y'all have a great day everyday if possible and if not then just wait for your happy days. do everything or anything you want which will not be destructive for your physical and mental health. to everyone who's tired rn, take a deep breath and have a rest (for a minute, an hour, a day—not for the rest of your life, okay?)

hi authorim, I read your "Summer of August" story a long time ago but until now I still can't move on, actually i want to adopt it as a daerin version but first i need your permission:)) btw i miss your ryeji stories... more angst HAHAHAHAHAHA para masakit

you’re from aklan, ‘tor?????

miss ko na stories mo author wsjsjsjsjsj

HI AUTHOR i was following you before until uhmm i cant remember my password so i created a new account. I just want to say thanks for your stories and you for being my inspiration. I decided to create a story aswell its my first time actually . ( I love re reading your stories all the time even tho i cried sometimes)

hey, do you have a plan to make another Ryeji Angst story? if you do, I'm looking forward to that because i'm a fan of all your beautiful Ryeji story

finally posted an update. check it out if you're reading fifty shades of ryeji.
          
          it's been so long since i left. i wonder why i came back. i feel so sad, maybe i wanna put my sadness in my works like the good old days. a lot of my readers asked why i like giving them sad endings, i think it's the fact that i can't really open my emotions and writing became a way for me to release my feelings. prolly the reason why my stories most likely have the same line, the same idea or happenings.
          
          please embrace my sadness, y'all :>

im suicidal.
          
          but im afraid to kill myself. hence, i am more than afraid that if i reach the peak, i will no longer feel the fear of killing myself. im afraid to reach the point where i will no longer be scared of pulling a trigger or a rope tightening around my neck. 
          
          im scared.
          
          of the idea that suicide will be my last option. it's scary how we want to see a brighter future. i keep gaslighting myself, telling the inner me that everything will be fine soon. but as im tracing my way for that better 'soon', it only feels like as if im digging my own grave as i keep walking. 
          
          i thought.
          
          im finally doing better but it's a bubble. that thought is a bubble, it disappeared before my eyes. i used to think as long as i am holding onto someone, i will love the idea of living. the thoughts lingered around my mind up until now. what if i reach the peak and i will no longer hold onto anyone?
          
          im scared. it's scary how i always laugh with everyone and still go home with a heavy heart. it's scary how my lights are open but it still feels like the darkness is eating me, it's eating me alive.

Hi author! It's been quite the time since I last saw you here. Anyways I just wanted to ask about deja vu since I just noticed it's not available. Do you plan on continuing it after some time or is it gone for good? It would be such a pity if it's gone for good because it was my fav story but of course it's up to you and I'll respect your decisions :) Happy New Year and good luck with your studies! I'll wait for you because it's always worth the wait <3