@imkindaboredioi
my friend said something really stupid yesterday and he apologised and that but we haven’t talked in like four hours and i miss him already :/
why do i miss talking to him bro, it’s only been a couple hours…
i hate this guy, i like him too much. i’m meant to be independent and successful, this isn’t good for my rep
why do i have yet another urge to change the covers of call it fate and call it destiny AGAIN? like what is my problem? im meant to be studying or rereading the cruel prince or writing the next chapter
i’m meeting the guy i like’s mum on tuesday gang. i’m scared. bc he says he’s told her sm about me LIKE WHAT DOES THAT ENTAIL PLEASE?!?! OH MY GOD CAN I BACK OUT??? IM FREAKING OUT HERE
the northern lights were in scotland but i didn’t see them bc i closed the curtains and watched the walking dead til midnight then went to bed. LIKE I FORGOT THEY WERE GONNA BE HEREEEEE IM SO ANNOYED
@accio_jackson they’ve always been like really high on my bucket list to see and i was RAGING i missed them. but they’re back again tonight so it’s fine
@IHEARTLANAA REAL MAN, but it’s fine bc they’ll be back again tonight and tomorrow so we’ll have our chance
guys… DID I FINALLY DO IT AND PUBLISH THE NEXT CHAPTER?! HELL YEAH I DID!!! go reread the previous one tho, cuz it’s been a WHILE
guys i’ve decided im going to completely reread call it fate and dive straight back into writing it once im done. i promise you istg by sunday i will post it if i don’t then im either dead or my guy friend finally decided to grow a pair and kiss me HAHA
entering my last year of school in just over a month. what the hell?!?! this time next year i’ll have graduated, might cry
sooo… i vented to my best friend about how horrible my mum is and now im really sad. especially bc i just had a conversation w mack. essentially what happened was that i jokingly hit on him again LOL and he told me that he didn’t think he was ready for another relationship rn. and honestly i thought it was funny asf but then i started retelling the story to my friends and my aunt and it just hit me?
like, i totally understand that he’s not right mentally after the relationship with my bsf. i hadn’t even cared up until now about being told no. like i saw this coming and i was fine and now im… not? idk. it’s not THAT deep bc he’s like still one of my bsfs and he’s great and i don’t feel sad when i think about him. i think it’s more the thought of being WITH him bc he’s just so great. and he gets me like no one else does. he tells me exactly what i need to hear and it makes me feel great. he’s one of my fav ppl ever and i understand him and his feelings too. and ig that’s why im not hurt about him. just the concept
i think i rushed my feelings out on an impulse when not even i understand them fully. and maybe i did ruin whatever future prospects we have? but oh well!!! it’s like 1am rn i need to go to bed but i don’t wanna just constantly think about this the whole night…
@MayarojaWright no i totally get what you mean! and like i have a huge ego so im not TOO bothered about it. like i love myself too much sometimes so its okay and i definitely can learn from this experience!!!
@imkindaboredioi In a way ik exactly what u mean by "the thought of being with him" being great." and that made you excited so u were impulsive about it cause I did smt similar once. but like I don't think you've ruined ur chances per say, considering from the sounds of it he's just not interested in a relationship rn thats all. with that said im not gonna be an advocate for like holding onto hope or anything cause thats never a good idea, and all I can say is that if. it was meant to work out it would have...ik that sounds cringe but u can probably learn from this right?
bro told me i shouldn’t be embarrassed about what u said yesterday. BUNCH OF BS. YES I SHOULD BE EMBARRASSED WTF… now i have to speak to him tomorrow about this whole thing… gang, im not ready.
HE SAID HE WASNT FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS. and he said he doesn’t know why he isn’t freaking out and that it’s just happening and neither of us can do anything about it
idk what he means by that. IDK WHAT THAT MEANS. SOMEONE WHO SPEAKS THE MALE LANGUAGE TELL ME WHAT THAT MEANS
@imkindaboredioi well idk but maybe he has reached acceptance that what will happen will happen or he's in denial in a sense...he's distancing himself to nonchalance perhaps before all the events have played out so he won't have a premature freak out?
gang, i’m so cooked rn. i told him this exact thing yesterday
me: i can’t believe we’re pretending this just didn’t happen yesterday. it’s kinda funny
him: idk!!! i’m still in shock
do you still want to pretend
me: i don’t think i want to pretend it didn’t happen
him: what does that mean
me: can we just like…
are you free tuesday?
him: can we just what?
me: okay okay so um
i like you, mack
and i’d like you to ask me out
him: idk casey, idk how i feel
like you’re so fun to talk to but im unsure of what’s really happening with me
HAHAHAH WHAT?! HE WAS PRACTICALLY BAITING ME TO ASK HIM THAT! GENUINELY HE ASKED SO I ANSWERED HONESTLY LEAVE ME ALONE. i think he’s just scared this will end up like how it did with him and my best friend and that he’ll lose me too
@MayarojaWright no he said he liked me sometimes and other times he wasn’t sure. because we’re such good friends yk?