im_rly_confused

i haven't been here in awhile, i just took down my stories, i cant decide if im going to delete my account or not.
          	
          	i just started my junior year, and i just know im not going to be updating, and i know im like never gonna be on here

im_rly_confused

hey quick update, my closest friend doesn't hate me! i gave him an ultimatum about our friendship, because i really hated the way he was treating me,  
          
          i told basically to start treating me like a person or im blocking him here and now
          and he apologized and said he would be nicer
          im very very happy

im_rly_confused

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i think my closest friend (only person ive trusted in the past 4 years) hates me, i keep asking why he's ignoring me and what i did wrong, but he won't talk to me and like i love him but i don't think he wants anything to do with me anymore, we used to talk all day everyday during the summer the end of last year too, he'll even the beginning of this year but all the sudden he's different and doesn't want to talk, and i keep telling myself to let it go but some part of me is still attached like in desperate for his attention and approval, i'm hating every second of this and im putting in all my effort to try and fix it but he's giving me nothing, not even like saying we're not gonna be friends anymore or saying he doesn't want to talk to me he's just quiet acting like nothings wrong i'm being repetitive but i really fucking miss him.

im_rly_confused

god that was a lot sorry
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im_rly_confused

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have any of you had the person you cared for most want nothing to do with you, and seem disgusted by your every move, bc if so i'm so sorry that shit stings like hell :/

im_rly_confused

im so sorry love/p
            
            maybe try asking him about it, i would probably still be with my ex if we stopped and talked about the issues, it could really help :)
            
            (but only do that if you feel comfortable talking to him)
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secretacc_no

@im_rly_confused umm well he completely ignores me but we're always around eachother since the situation when i pass him and his friends like stare me down it's almost threatening which is weird im usually not afraid of anyone but it's almost like he avoids me yk
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im_rly_confused

@swagnottaken yeah i think that makes sense i have 4/6 classes with my ex that i was talking about, 
            
            but what has he done to make you think he hates you? (if you feel comfortable ofc)
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im_rly_confused

omfg im so mad at myself, i was clean for almost a month 1/2 which is longer than i've been in like 18 months, ugh D:<
          
          this is annoying
          
          my hand is going numb >:/

im_rly_confused

ty ty ty
            
            it was hard to hide today >:/
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_lovelessroses_

@im_rly_confused it is fine. Just calm down. clean it up. And i have a idea for a inproviser (i use it myself because ive had many times thoughts) I usually grab a stick that has red liquid in it like some lipstick and i put it where i wanna cut. I usually write out help me on my arms but u can do whatever u want. After your done carefully wash it off until it is either fully gone or mostly gone like its just a light light lines or shapes or words whatever because it should disappear tmr :) hoped that helped
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im_rly_confused

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i would like to declare myself an idiot
          i just got this text :/
          i rly want to stop hurt ppl
          
          “ok, [my name(no no)] real talk for a second. it’s not fair to you if i just basically ghost you and don’t tell you what i am thinking. cuz i like you. i dont want you to think of me as another person that just pushed you away. but i won’t put in the commitment to you if you dont do the same. cuz last night you texted me that your sister yelled at you and i just kinda blew you off and im an asshole for that. but i like talking to you but its not good for me to be peoples therapist if they arent also there for me, and at this point, i dont know where you are at this point. and i know you also like jadon and you really don’t like making a decision between us. so heres what im thinking we hang out one more time, we take it from square 1, and just see how it goes.”
          
          it was followed by this one
          
          “and i was going to text you last night but i was a little tipsy cuz i whent out with friends and i didnt think that was a good  idea and i should think it through a bit more”
          
          AHHHHHH
          
          jadon just asked me out yesterday
          I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE >:/

im_rly_confused

i already said yes, i cant decide if i regret it or not ://
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_lovelessroses_

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@im_rly_confused ok. 1. first text at the start made no fucking sense. 2.It's* Because* Went* 3.Yeah they were 100% a tipsy.
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