illuminated_

lol are any of you still alive

illuminated_

do you ever just get so consumed with the person you like that you spend hours and hours of every day thinking about that person, reminiscing in memories, fantasizing about texting him, theorizing about how to keep the conversation going, and feeling your heart pound every time his face flashes in your mind?
          
          i like this guy. so, so much it's not even a joke anymore. he used to like me before, but once he stopped I started to like him. and i told him, a few weeks back, in person, that i like him. we've gotten really REALLY close (like best friend close but closer) ever since and i asked him if he would ever like me again, and he told me yes.
          
          but the problem is, i don't know how long i can wait. half the time, liking him feels so great and the other half i want to cry and scream because this feeling is torture. why? because i know that the way i feel right now for him is the way he feels for her, and i just want to be HER so badly but i can't. and i fear that he won't ever feel the same. maybe, in his own way, but not the way i want him to. 
          
          anyway, there was no point to this message but i just needed to vent. anyone have something similar to this happen to them before?

butterballporkbun

@illuminated_  of course I can I consider you a good friend so sure.
Reply

illuminated_

@butterballporkbun No, you haven't overstepped your boundaries at all! If it's all right with you, can you please tell me what happened? perhaps through PM? 
            
            Many of my friends have told me to remain calm, so I understand. I've only cried once, but I've felt the urge multiple times and I haven't really given into any of them.
Reply

butterballporkbun

Well you have every right to feel those feelings. Just please be careful...you sound a bit like my middle sister and while I won't go into details. It wasn't a good thing. 
            
            I know you're a smart person @illuminated_ 
            I can tell that from the way you write, from the way you text, etc. I just want you to be careful and while it might not be my place to say I've been through something that was horrific involving both genders. :( which is why I'm just telling to remain calm as you can you're a smart person and while you may have been through darkness, I have too. I know that forcing a smile hurts but sometimes it's necessary even when you're crying. Once again I'm sorry if I over stepped my boundaries but just please keep a calm head :3 
Reply

lemvnade

Yooooooo
          Is that Diego Barreuco I see as your propic?

lemvnade

@illuminated_ it definitely does look like him
Reply

illuminated_

@morbidsucre- I think so. I'm not sure (cause I found it on tumblr) but it does look like him, so maybe.
Reply

illuminated_

I don't want to be that author that posts multiple stories and never finishes them, but I have two brilliant ideas just waiting to be posted. I'm torn between posting them, or waiting until they're done to post them. What do you guys think?

butterballporkbun

@illuminated by the way how have you been doing lately? I spent a week in the hospital after a Grand mal seizure so that was a thing.
Reply

butterballporkbun

@illuminated you could always do a brain storming idea thing, and write out some of the chapters and not post it. I'm doing it right now with a story kind of just writing it for fun. So you won't give in to the pressure of constantly having people telling you to update and burn out quickly. People don't do it to me much and I don't mind it but I know for some authors it can get pretty hectic. It's one of the reasons I love Wattpad over Fanfiction.net, Radish, or any other writing thing because you can really talk and connect with people. As for my followers I always value quality over quantity. 
Reply

illuminated_

@NotYourBabexxx Good idea. I mean one of them is already written and completed (Amnesia - posted already) But I'm midway through the edited version, and I don't want to change anything in the beginning. (which is why I asked if I should post that one or not) 
            
            It's just that whenever this happens, I always have the urge to post it to see what my fans think. And then every time I finish a chapter, I imagine how every single individual person would react. I'm craving feedback, but I do like your suggestion on waiting on writing a few chapters to see if I'm able to develop my idea. It's smart.
Reply

illuminated_

I just have to let this out. (It's random... but it's been on my mind for a while.) 
          
          If you love music, if you ever felt so passionate about listening to music then you have to agree with me on this. If you don't feel anything while listening to music, if you don't put your heart and soul into the song you're listening, if you don't feel goosebumps while listening to that high or low note, and if you don't FEEL what you're listening, then you're doing something wrong. Music is all about emotion: love, hatred, anger, sadness, and happiness. I listen to music when I'm happy, I listen to music when I'm so angry that I can't breathe, I listen to music when I'm so sad that I contemplate death more than twice— the point is, music is something so valuable and precious to me and I can only hope that my fans that are reading this feel the emotion that I'm trying to express. 
          
          Without music, I am nothing.