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oh sorry i fell asleep while i was waiting on you to make me a sandwich 
          - go back to sleep and STARVE 

you ready to die ! 
          - ahh ahh-you cant kill me im a bad bitch.
          
           

two bros chilling in a hot tub.....
          
          
          
          
          
          five feet apart cause they’re not gaY 
          
          yW :)

mom i need to tell you something
           i got an a bor tion 

hey babe happy 1 year 
          
          im 27 

hey can you toss me my keys 
          * throws printer * 
          - i thought you said printer ! 
          why would i say printer? 

im about to say it 
          say it 
          say it 
          i dont care that you broke your elbow 

im not sad im just cutting cucumbers. 

and they were roommates!
          
           oh my god they were roommates !

 Bring the beat in 
          anything for you Beyoncé