definevil

i walked outside today and wished i could preserve the scent of the air- i wish i could preserve this image of you in my mind. when i walk through the hallways, i can only see so much- i can only see you once and the rest of the day is spent thinking of you whenever there is a chance to think. you don’t know me at all and i know more about you than i should (maybe i should stop asking around, if that got out i don’t know what you’d think- probably that i’m a creep, though.) i feel like the more i think of you, the more it alters my perception of you. i want to remember your personality and the sound of your voice, the sweaters and jeans you wear and your black semi long hair. just how much can i remember when i’m constantly creating an alternate version of you, one who sees me as a lover rather than a stranger in the hallway gawking at you. i wouldn’t be surprised if this whole stunt doesn’t work but i’m so desperate that i’m willing to pull all my cards for you.

definevil

after a long day i sink into my bed, wishing instead i was sinking into yours with you beside me, or maybe playing a game while i observe. i didn’t get to see you again today, i’ve been dressing up my nicest yet you’re not here. tomorrow’s a friday, the day ruled by venus, aphrodite’s worship day- if love is provoked on fridays, then perhaps i’ll see you tomorrow? today i had my friend ask about you and you walked away, but i got what i wanted to know- you are single, which means i might have a chance- but not much of one considering you’re graduating this year. we’re in two different parts of our lives right now, everyone keeps telling me. that doesn’t matter. today chris told me off, and all i said was that this is stronger than any crime. this might be one of those things i look back on in a year and start ripping my hair out, or i’ll think to myself, “wow, i’m just like pete wentz on live journal in 2005!”. that doesn’t matter. i want you and i’ll have you.
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definevil

i walked outside today and wished i could preserve the scent of the air- i wish i could preserve this image of you in my mind. when i walk through the hallways, i can only see so much- i can only see you once and the rest of the day is spent thinking of you whenever there is a chance to think. you don’t know me at all and i know more about you than i should (maybe i should stop asking around, if that got out i don’t know what you’d think- probably that i’m a creep, though.) i feel like the more i think of you, the more it alters my perception of you. i want to remember your personality and the sound of your voice, the sweaters and jeans you wear and your black semi long hair. just how much can i remember when i’m constantly creating an alternate version of you, one who sees me as a lover rather than a stranger in the hallway gawking at you. i wouldn’t be surprised if this whole stunt doesn’t work but i’m so desperate that i’m willing to pull all my cards for you.

definevil

after a long day i sink into my bed, wishing instead i was sinking into yours with you beside me, or maybe playing a game while i observe. i didn’t get to see you again today, i’ve been dressing up my nicest yet you’re not here. tomorrow’s a friday, the day ruled by venus, aphrodite’s worship day- if love is provoked on fridays, then perhaps i’ll see you tomorrow? today i had my friend ask about you and you walked away, but i got what i wanted to know- you are single, which means i might have a chance- but not much of one considering you’re graduating this year. we’re in two different parts of our lives right now, everyone keeps telling me. that doesn’t matter. today chris told me off, and all i said was that this is stronger than any crime. this might be one of those things i look back on in a year and start ripping my hair out, or i’ll think to myself, “wow, i’m just like pete wentz on live journal in 2005!”. that doesn’t matter. i want you and i’ll have you.
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definevil

"i hope that nothing will drain your energy in such a way that you will not have enough time to spend with me afterwards"
          
          don't worry about that, darling. though our time is quite limited tonight, we will still be able to hold each other for hours as we usually do- and that alone i am greatful for.

definevil

for you, dear, i could sit here and list each one of your qualities that makes the days beautiful.
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definevil

then hold me. hold me and don't let me go, even when i ask you to do so. hold me so that i feel something, anything other than the exhaustion of the thought that i won't be here with you tomorrow until evening, or the treachery of waiting to be held again. hold me so long that it substitutes for all the times you cannot, all the times we must part.
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definevil

i want to sleep now, so that i can have the sweetness of your words flow through my mind and ease me to sleep- like having your arms around me and having us melt into each other until all we can feel is the love of one another. i wish for that to be my only emotion, for what i feel for you is stronger than any other.

definevil

that is what i want every night. nothing is more soothing than the sound of my breath clashing with the sound of your beating heart as i lie my head onto your chest.
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definevil

guys who reported me to wattpad cuz they were concerned for my health. i'm doing better than i have been doing in the last 7 months bro THIS IS THE SECOND TIME THIS HAS HAPPENED!!! STOPPPP

obsejin

this message may be offensive 
@definevil thats so odd!! Bro, they couldve just dmed you and asked how you were doing instead of rocking your shit oml
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definevil

"would you believe me if i told you i have never held anyone as beautiful as you in my arms like this before?"
          
          "if you're the one saying it, i will believe you - i will anyways believe everything you say."

definevil

and that's what i would hope we say, and stay like that forever. if forever only lasted this long, i would have basked in every thought of you and isolated myself just to rot in my room and imagine us with more time. you gave me no reason to be distrusting in you when you said you wouldn't do this to me, and i put all my faith in you like i would into a god when i was younger - or, at least, the faith i thought i held for that god. but you are no god, you have a childish heart and i have an intricate way of thinking that you never appreciated as i thought you would when i met you, because you weren't mature and you weren't a gentlemen, you weren't a man. you aren't a man. i was silly to wait around for you to be one when i had grown into the mind of a woman and you were still in the mind of a boy. you would never understand.
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