strength lies within

Haha when you are so single that u didnt even realize Valentine's day has just passed and the only thing you got was an exam paper
          :')

 Guys the chap I just posted was inspired by a book I'm reading named Ephemeral my an amazing writer @Franchlie 
          It's an amazing book and I definitely recommend it 
          Follow them and give them your support it would mean a lot ❤️

 Ok people I just posted chap 31 of INSIGHT 
          And I freaking love it 
          I think it's the best I've written so far 
          It would really  freaking mean a lot to me if y'all could only check that chapter out 
          Vote it u please 
          It would make my day 
          Also don't hesitate to comment . I need your opinion on it ❤️

I'm a loser

Im a mess.
          

Can y'all believe I hit 1.1K cause I can't

Yall go follow @pabohyung
          She's desperate and this is the least I can do for her being her friend
          Also y'all she's gonna kill me if she sees that I posted this 
          Also yea someone also just start a conversation with her cause well she won't do that herself 
          Also if I suddenly disappear it means she has murdered me
          So I just wanna say I love y'all and thanks 

Sorry for the kind ass announcements but I was waiting to say this from days 
          Y'all don't know how many time i practiced this in front of the bathroom mirror *embarrassed emoji*

Continued....
          They don't know what it's like to feel lonely even when  u r not alone
          They don't have to wake up everyday and not wanting to get out of bed cause it just hurts so much 
          They don't have to look in the mirror and see a tired sad face everytime
          They don't have to look in the mirror and find empty eyes staring back 
          They can't see the eyes filled with tears masked behind a smile 
          Then can't hear sobs hidden behind laughter 
          They can't hear pain laced in your voice 
          They can't feel the constant heart ache 
          They don't have to go through this and much more so they just assume it's not real or  that we are  faking it
          
          Ive been told im fine that I fake it that I'm stupid for being like this 
          Well u think your words are gonna stop it but let me tell u its not 
          Your words are just gonna make be believe it's my fault and that I'm wrong . They are gonna make be want to punish myself for being like this 
          
          But there is one thing I want scream out loud tell everyone hears my voice that
           I DON'T CRY CAUSE IM WEAK , I CRY CAUSE IM TIRED OF BEING STRONG ALL THE TIME
          
          
          

Continued..
          When I cry people tell me I have no reason to that I'm fine and should be grateful for what I'm given.
          Well maybe they think because they can't hear the voices in my head saying all the harsh repeatedly words that no one deserves to be said . Because they can't hear the voices that never shut up . They can't see me begging them to stop for a moment to let me enjoy silence and peace for a second. They don't know how it feels to cry yourself to sleep every night and waking up to tears every morning. They don't how it's like to wake up everyday and being sad about the fact that u didnt die in your sleep that you're still alive .
          They don't  know the bliss that comes with hurting yourself .
          They don't get the constant reminder from seeing their scars knowing that they did this because they felt like they deserved punishment because they are not good enough .
          They can't hear the screams of my heart while crying in pain.
          They can't feel the pain weighing my heart down 
          They don't w how it's like to feel that your are going to shatter into a million pieces everytime u try to stand 
          They don't know how it's like to be so physically mentally and emotionally exhausted
          To be ready to end it all 
          
          
          To be continued...