Charlotte M. Hill

The reader was born in a galaxy far, far away on the planet Gallifrey to parents Lionel and Lillian Luthor. She was educated at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, where she majored in Potions and was a proud member of the Slytherin house. She spent her summers driving all over America in a 67 chevy impala, hunting demons with her brothers Sam and Dean. Today, she makes her home in Charming, California, where there are way too many bikers for her taste.

Now, if you bought any of the above, the author has a bridge to sell you. It's located in the catacombs beneath the Paris Opera House on the planet Alderaan.

Okay, fine. The reader is an anti-social basketcase whose real name isn't even Charlotte. She lives with her family somewhere in America, where her work is often interrupted by two cats in desperate need of exorcisms.