⭒. ℳ ⭒

On absence, and resurrection. 
          
          Nothing to say, except- 
          the fire which once burned high, and mighty died a sudden death. 
          Smothered by a cold, strangled wind without a possible flicker of regret. 
          Choir of mourners please hold your breath, for what dies quickly- 
          never really dies at all. 
          The restless do get their way; a tunnel straight out the tomb. 
          Forget the pansies and lilies, they never did any good. 
          Stars, and songbirds sing your tune, 
          kill the midnight quiet- that awful, dreadful tune. 
          Good-bye to the dead, the lovers say, half-flesh, and half-bone. 
          Good-bye to our God, and a big fu** you. 
          
          What dies quickly-
          never really forgives at all.

Excerpt from Lilith's journal entry 116: 
          
          He has managed to make me forget all my hurt. His presence alone has frightened the scars from my very flesh. There exists no remedy quite like him. No God equal in comfort. Winters may very well be my own religion- a chapel I can visit, and pray in.  For the longest, bleakest time, I thought I'd never escape my tragedy. I thought all I could ever do was bleed, and break. I did not know then, that a star would shine its light on my soul. That salvation would come. 
          
          I know I am saved, reader, because the bruises have receded. 
          
          In their place-
          
          the indentations of his fingers. 
          
          Firm, and strong. 
          
          My anchor,
          
          though he doesn't know it.

Our stars are too bright to destroy.

What dies quickly never really dies at all.

My eyes bleed crimson, 
          and my mouth breeds vitriol. 
          This skin of mine is worn by treason.

I am the Phoenix. 
          I am the thorn. 
          I am the restless, 
          endless 
          storm. 
          I do not, I do not
          but I do, and I do. 
          
          Destroyer, and savior-
          an oath, and a curse. 
          I am absurd! 
          Disturbed! 
          Incurable, too!
          I rise, and rise, 
          then fall, and fall. 
          Excuse my fluctuations!!!- 
          This writer's head is split, and bruised.

Oh, you, handsome, loathsome devil! 
          You arrogant, violent beast!
          Oh, how I hate, hate, you! 
          That damn stake- 
          went right through, 
          and out your cold, cold chest!
          Heartless, shrewd snake! 
          God should have made a lesson of you- 
          Should have buried you deep, deep in Moses’s sea, 
          Laid to rest in a bed of foam, and dust- 
          An unstirring, unfeeling corpse! 
          Oh, how cursed I am! 
          How lucky you are! 
          
          God-Damn Moses
          
          for parting the sea in two. 
          
          God-Damn YOU 
          
          For splitting my heart in two.

On absence, and resurrection. 
          
          Nothing to say, except- 
          the fire which once burned high, and mighty died a sudden death. 
          Smothered by a cold, strangled wind without a possible flicker of regret. 
          Choir of mourners please hold your breath, for what dies quickly- 
          never really dies at all. 
          The restless do get their way; a tunnel straight out the tomb. 
          Forget the pansies and lilies, they never did any good. 
          Stars, and songbirds sing your tune, 
          kill the midnight quiet- that awful, dreadful tune. 
          Good-bye to the dead, the lovers say, half-flesh, and half-bone. 
          Good-bye to our God, and a big fuck you. 
          
          What dies quickly-
          never really forgives at all.

with a heavy heart, i must admit that i no longer feel the same enthusiasm i felt when first writing TSTBU. as time progresses, i slowly feel less inclined to sit down and write, partly because it is such a complex story, and i feel inadequate, and partly because there is no return to countless hours of my work. i feel as though it is futile. these are just some random, vexing thoughts i had right now, and i just had to vent. for the unforeseeable future, TSTBU will be on pause. 

“I was not exaggerating the lengths I’d take to warrant her protection. I warned you all, as I have promised her- if there is even an inch of movement in her direction, I will not hesitate. Anything I deem a threat will be promptly executed. Count yourselves fortunate, for I will not answer with mercy hereafter, regardless of recognition. Do not test me.”
          
          possessive Winters has me in a chokehold rn, sorry.   he can pretend all he wants but we knowwww he wants her