꧁༒☬𝓐𝔂𝓾𝓶𝓲☬༒꧂

So, trigger warnings: physical health, tumors, and medical testing.
          there will be a summary post for those who are uncomfortable with the topics mentioned above.
          
          So... I clearly haven't updated in a reeeaaaalllyyy long time. Ever since after the death of my dog, my mental and physical health slowly started to plummet. 
          
          Physically, I have been diagnosed with a benign (noncancerous) tumor in my knee in my meniscus area. I have zero clue how this was even able to happen. I had go to through an X-ray, another x-ray, an MRI, blood drawing and 3 knee braces. Definitely not an experience that I recommend. 
          As well as, I am currently getting medical attention for my heart. My heart rate is incredibly high. As I am writing this, I am currently at a 113 BPM (beats per minute), and I haven't worked out in about a week. I just got an x-ray done and waiting to get an ECG. I am working with my cardiologist and my general doctor to see if it's just a muscular issue happening, tachycardia (disorder of overly high heart rate), my ADHD medication, or my sleep deprivation mixed with caffeine.
          
          Mentally, I am all over the place. I have been diagnosed with RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria) and it co-exists with my ADHD. Basically what it is, if I feel like a failure or a sense of failure OR I feel rejection or I am being rejected, I enter this phase of mental breakdown. I will breakdown and cry even over the smallest feelings or rejection or failure. My friends were noticing how much was breaking over things like I didn't the book that was on sale that I really wanted and I was constantly trying to remind myself to get it and it didn't happen. They were like "hey! r u okay? u r crying more than u do." So I went to my aunt (who specializes in ADHD and the medication) and went "hey? wtf is up with me?" and she went "hey! u got RSD."
          
          its a whole mess and I really can't wait for this all to end. all in all, pray that I dont have a heart attack and actually update P&C
          
          love u guys <3

nOTHING WILL CHANGE MY MIND. MR WOLF IS HOT AS FUCK

So uh.... I was planning to publish the next chapter of P&C last Monday, yet I couldn't do it to so much challenging reasons. You see, my dog got lost on Monday. I was shaken to my core so I couldn't really think much that day. On Tuesday, I was planning to then publish, assuming I would've found my dog. That didn't happen at all. Tuesday evening, I still couldn't find my dog. I already cried at the Office Depot in my area because the workers wouldn't laminate my lost dog flyers. I eventually did get them laminated and I was already putting posters up in all of the neighborhoods that were interconnected with mine. About halfway through, I got a call from a lady who saw one of my previous flyers 2 neighborhoods down. She then repeated to me that my dog had been hit and killed. That had to have been the hardest day of my life. I couldn't breathe majority of the time and I was so sick. The lady said it so nonchalantly it hurts my stomach. I went home and cried, still in denial that the dog the lady was talking about couldn't be mine. I asked my dad to go to the address and see the body to see if it was really my dog. It was in fact my dog. I was so numb, I closed myself off very badly. I knew I couldn't miss my classes the next day, yet my mom kept insisting to stay home and just think. I didn't want to think, it made me nauseous to think. I did sleep in the following day and missed only one class. It still hurts thinking about it. It's been a week since the incident and my parents are trying to help me find ways to cope. They insisted getting another pet. I do want another pet, just not one that looks exactly like her. She was the sweetest dog ever and only 2 years old. I am suppose to celebrate her bday Nov. 7th, but I dont even know what to do. I miss her and I hope you can understand how painful this week has been for me. I appreciate it.

im actually crying rn. thank u all so much for reaching P&C to 1.3K views. I am  going to sob for another hour. thank you guys so much again <333

YO SOPHIA

Hello everyone! I am back. I am so sorry for the hiatus. I haven't been feeling very good so I am just really happy I could publish the new chapter for P&C. I hope you enjoy it and I will get writing on the next chapter. Love you guys! <3

WAIT WE REACHED 1K VIEWS??? OMG THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!! my hiatus is still not over due to the fact I am taking a psych class over the summer. I'll get back ASAP <333

LESS GOOO AMBER TURD IS GOING DOWN THE TOILETTTTT.  Also- update is potentially coming up in the next several days. I have a 103 F degree fever rn.... so hang with me

omg I have 888 views on P&C

Sorry everyone, I will not be updating till May 27th. Finals are whooping my ass