Angel Fox

Hello? :( I hope you are okay...

New day - another disappointment... 

I'm waiting for eternal sleep... 

This man has disappeared again... It's been a long time... I hope she's okay... The most terrible thing about all this is that indifference sometimes wakes up in me. Yes, this man has brought me a lot of pain. I'm still crying into my pillow (even right now while I'm writing this) and I hope that tomorrow won't come for me... but... She saved me once and did a lot of good things. I am very grateful to her for that. And it breaks my heart... And it hurts me that I didn't even hear a banal "sorry" from her... I'd be lying if I said it would fix something, but it just makes me feel like an even bigger nothingness. 

"I miss you impossibly. 
I'm very sick, I'm almost dying. 
And somewhere you and you will not know anything.
And I'm afraid I've lost you."
By Anton Tokarev

Why am I waking up? For what purpose?...

I hope every day that a new day will not come for me... I'm disappointed every time... But hope dies last, huh?...

Oh, no. Another day. When will it end?

I'm still alive... What a pity... Well, there's always a chance of not waking up tomorrow? Or the day after tomorrow, right?

If you've ever wondered what it's like to think about disappearing all the time, here's the answer: it's terrible.  Every day is torture.  And the worst thing about it is that you can always get your wish.  Any time.  But... There is a wild fear.  This makes you feel even more miserable.  And all this brings unbearable pain.
 In my case, everything is very deplorable, because the "trigger" was a person dear to me who decided to throw me and everything that connected us.  Without any reasons.  I was just taken advantage of and thrown away when I was no longer needed!... I'm surprised at how I could afford to believe that I'm worth something... This is ridiculous!