ahavaenoch
The first commandment in the Bible is to, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your mind, all your soul, and strength." First time I heard it, I thought God is kinda selfish. Sorry, Lord. But after I received the Holy Spirit who came to dwell inside me, that was the moment I felt arms embracing me like a warm blanket. I felt loved and relieved. That peace was something I can't compare anything with. The second commandment is to love your neighbor as yourself which was "impossible" to me. I'm telling you, nobody can. But it was necessary so I asked Jesus to teach me how to love others. Sounds ridiculous but I knew he'd teach me. He simply said, follow my commands. I was like, okay. There was nothing wrong. I kept reading the Bible and filled myself with his commandments. It always impressed me how Jesus loved everyone. He moved full of compassion. Even when I was in dirt, he particularly called my name and said, I love you very much. So time passed and I saw the 9 fruits of the Holy Spirit getting born inside of me. I always hated my parents for many things and I could justify them easily to God that I wasn't wrong but every time I'd see them, he always said to my heart, "Honor your father and your mother." I did. For my siblings, he said, "Mention them in your prayers," I did, for my friends, he said, "Forgive them all and pray for them," I couldn't deny, for my neighbor who practically did black magic, he said, "forgive her, pray so that her eyes may be opened," it was shocking! but I did bc I was growing up in love with Jesus so much that I'd do everything he'd tell me. Any person I'd meet, he said, "pray for her/him." Finally, through the book of Ezekiel, he asked me if I'd like to stand in the gap and pray for others and I obeyed, not for any reward but only bc I wanted to keep him happy inside of me.
ahavaenoch
I'm telling you, no good deed of yours will make him live inside you. It's his love that is selfless, that's why he comes. But it says, do not grieve the Holy Spirit, and it touched me so much that I'm afraid of hurting him. He's really sensitive, very gentle. Idk why he chose to live with a person as cruel as me (I could watch someone wallow in their own blood and do nothing!) But he changed me. I've never loved my parents or anyone as much as I've loved after loving Jesus. Every day he guides me and every time I do stupid things, he'd forgive me so easily like it never happened! It makes me feel like... Lord, what kind of a God are you? Your love amazes me.
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