I really like your stuff and I think the way you prepared the dream sequence is interesting, as it creates a tension that builds up. As the sequence moves forward, you might consider using descriptive language that presents a sense of the character's heart beating faster with each step, coupled with a spiraling level of anxiety which resembles her hyperventilating. That can carry over to the wake up sequence.
Rather than waking up in a comfy bed, I recommend that you write something that communicates how she feels her heart beating faster and faster and faster as if her heart is ready to explode out of her chest. Also, we can go in and feeling the tickling sensation of a cold sweat as if she were floating in a pool of water… Something that really builds up the tension and conflict that she is feeling. However, at least she was feeling SOMETHING! Feel free to stop by the office if you would like to talk about the character further, and potential ideas for really elaborating on the characters dream sequence. Keep up the great work
