For those who would ask:

No - I don't want to collaborate on a web comic and you do not have my permission to use my story for your plot. 

No - I do not want you to design a cover page for me but thanks for implying mine is crap with your proposal. 

Thanks for the offers though. 

Do this as a free hobby - paying someone else to create the picture I am attempting to paint with my words is counterintuitive to that goal. 

Have the day you deserve. 

Bots need not apply.