🌌 Kai/Uniqua 🌌

Uniqua: Aight, we have known each other for several years now, dude. I'm gonna test how well you know me by having you read my mind. Tell me some quick facts or any secrets you learned.
          
          Mettaton: Okay, can I start with your mountain of plushies?
          
          Uniqua: A little too obvious. I'm not afraid of having that be mentioned publicly.
          
          Mettaton: What about that time you got stuck in an old log?
          
          Uniqua: Not my best moment but, we all got a laugh outta that.
          
          Mettaton: Okay, I think I know how to break you. You have wanted to kiss me since you were 14.
          
          Uniqua: wut?
          
          Mettaton: I mean, it is true, right?
          
          Uniqua: Have you been reading my journals?
          
          Mettaton: No, I don't even know how to get into your vault.
          
          Uniqua: How else were you supposed to get that information, man?
          
          Mettaton: So, is this denial? Or is it true?
          
          Uniqua: This is me getting ready to knock yo sorry flank out the window!

Finally figured out what happened to my disability benefits! When they called Mom back in March, they thought they were talking to me and she told them she was working. Since they got confused there, they put down that I wasn't disabled and had a job when I never did at that time. So, we got that corrected today and they'll get back to sending out payments this month. My mom does have a phone appointment with them later this month to reapply for survivors' benefits and she'll correct the mailing and residential address on file for both me and my bro. We were expecting this to take longer but, we're kinda glad it went pretty quick. They are moving faster because they don't want Trump, Musk, and DOGE to come for them and fire them. I understand their concerns but, they shouldn't have to do this. They should be working this efficiently without any threats of losing their jobs.

Shadow: So, you three called us to help you do what exactly?
          
          Uniqua: We just need you to help us squash a roach.
          
          Shadow: A roach? Your father?
          
          Mettaton: She believes he has something bigger than his last scheme in the works.
          
          Rouge: Well, I don't see why we shouldn't pitch in. It's not every day that you get hired by nobility for any kind of job.
          
          Omega: Mission briefing is required before deployment.
          
          Shadow: Fine. But I'm not resorting to senseless violence.
          
          Hothead: Can we just sneak something into the vents? I think that would throw him for a loop.
          
          Mettaton: Let's think of something reasonable. We're not planting anything in his vents.
          
          Rouge: I would say we could plant several glitter bombs throughout the vent system. It does seem a little messy and chaotic.
          
          Uniqua: I do like that idea.
          
          Mettaton: Okay, glitter bombs in the vents. That's not lethal.
          
          Uniqua: I mean, we could take it a step further and put something in his mailbox. That's what I'm kinda floating.
          
          Omega: There are multiple different ways to go about this. It depends on your intentions, your majesty.
          
          Mettaton: Exactly, I'm thinking we could go with something non-lethal still and get the cops involved.
          
          Uniqua: That is one idea. I was thinking of something a little more threatening. Something that would scare the soul right out of him.
          
          Mettaton: Scare the soul out of him? As in potentially ending him entirely?
          
          Uniqua: Yep, I'm done settling for anything that isn't the same as an instant unalive. I'm going all the way.
          
          Hothead: He's a cockroach. He can still cheat death somehow.
          
          Uniqua: That explains why he keeps coming back.

I just saw a video on FB where this lady was at a store asking for grass-fed vegan beef with the bone in. As a vegan myself, I know that's an impossible demand. You can have grass-fed beef. I know this because that's what we get for my brother. You can get it bone-in. You can have a plant-based alternative. But you can't have a beef product that's all three because you plant-based products don't come from animals unless you're playing Minecraft and get mushroom stew from a cow with actual mushrooms growing on its back. Also, I'm autistic. I still eat cheese and consume dairy products. I will eat products containing eggs. I just don't eat anything that was actually part of the animal. It could be a texture thing that prevents me from enjoying those foods but, saying I'm vegan is a lot more acceptable than saying I'm autistic, I'm picky, or whatever other reason it could be.
          
          Another thing I wanna talk about is what I consider vegan versus what Karens consider vegan. They want all plant-based but with the textures and flavors of generic foods. They want it real but, they want it made from plants or grown. That doesn't exist. What I consider vegan is anything organic, grass-fed, plant-based, and sustainable. Their idea of being "vegan" destroys more habitats than they'd like to believe. My idea of it still goes along with what is considered the norm while maintaining healthy ecosystems and protecting biodiversity. See the difference? Don't call me a fake vegan for this. Don't call out my mom's "terrible parenting" for any of this or use my autism as an insult. You're doing more harm than good by insulting neurodivergent peeps and their families and destroying the planet.

If I ever experience a breakup, I don't wanna be the crazy ex who makes you regret even meeting me. I wanna be the crazy ex who still checks on you, asks if you've had enough water, asks if you've gone outside and done something spontaneous, asks how your family is doing, etc.
          
          No matter how bad, ugly, and stressful the breakup is, I wanna be the ex you remember till the day you die for checking on your well-being despite being hurt and angry or sad. That may sound ridiculous to most of you but, I still wanna be there even when one of us calls it quits. I don't care if it's 3 in the friggin morning and you're sleeping in someone else's bed, I will still text you to see how you're doing, mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, etc.

Uniqua: I wonder how different things would be if we were Mobians.
          
          Mettaton: I don't think much would change. Everything would still be the same.
          
          Uniqua: You sure I won't be anything like Shadow?
          
          Mettaton: I doubt it. You're nothing like him now.
          
          Uniqua: Dude, I want you to look back at everything I have suffered. You can't tell me I'm not already like him.
          
          Mettaton: Okay, let's see. You're traumatized, lost someone you cared about, have constant battles within yourself to this day and have an extremely dark and cruel father.
          
          Uniqua: My trauma is different from his. But we both lost someone. Also, look at my father and Black Doom.
          
          Mettaton: Now, I see it. The main difference is that he was more of a genetic experiment and you just came about naturally.
          
          Uniqua: The similarities outweigh the differences here, man.

Man, I have been tired all day and craving some cheesy pasta since last night. Finally, took a nap and woke up 3 and a half hours later and said "I'm making pasta. We don't have elbow noodles but, I'll eat fideo." The reason why I've been tired is not just because I took painkillers for my cramps. I helped do some housework for a family friend last night. While Mom and her hung out the rest of the night, I passed out on her couch. I also slept more on the way home and barely got four hours once we got home. I was so tired last night, I didn't wake up for a bowl of pasta her friend was offering since she made some. Since then, I have been craving pasta.

My period came again, so these next few days are gonna be a little crazy.
          
          Uniqua: Tell me about it. I was trained in various martial arts. I have to try not to unalive anyone.

Things that have happened today:
          
          I forgot it was Mother's Day.
          
          My brother found out Spamton is canonically pansexual and shared that with me. We then ended up theorizing how he got into the mansion and why he was kicked out.
          
          I also struggled to draw Shadow's spines and face.
          
          Now, we're making homemade pizza because my bro just found out there's an antibiotic in tomatoes and tomato products that reduces sunburn. Context: we recently clipped down some big weeds in our front yard and he's as white as they come. He's prone to serious sun poisoning. This time, we went inside before it got too severe.

Mettaton: "Pick-a-Partner?"  What kind of a name is that?
          
          Cupid: Well, we recently decided to merge all our match finding services into one business to do away with any and all possible discrimination. Now, patrons get to pick their own partner from a filtered dating pool based on interests, gender and sexual preferences. I've taken a look at the recent changes to your file and have done the hard part for you. You say you want forever with someone but, you also have a history of toxic relationships, cheating, substance use, substance abuse, drama, and lying to your partners. I say partners because you tend to come back for two or three more after picking out one already. I may get a little carried away myself but, as the god of love, I must advise you to make better choices.
          
          Mettaton: Really? These are my options now?
          
          Cupid: I will only service you this one last time because your prayers sounded a little desperate. If you get involved with another one while still being in a relationship, you will be banned from Pick-a-Partner and will no longer have access to our services.
          
          Mettaton: How about the introverted one? The rainbow hair with the horn and wings?
          
          Cupid: Last I checked, she doesn't use our services. I honestly don't know why she's here. Let me look at her file. Okay, that is indeed an introvert. She's a May Taurus, very stubborn. She also has a lot of emotional baggage and trauma. Huge nerd, artist, gamer, guitarist, is an alt girl with country roots but, close friends and family know she does have a soft side.
          
          Mettaton: Do you still do trial runs?
          
          Cupid: We do, but you have run out of trial runs. I will give one last chance for you to see if you think she's the one.
          
          Mettaton: Deal.
          
          *5-10 years later*
          
          Mettaton: Please tell me we aren't going to toilet paper your father's lair again.
          
          Uniqua: We are gonna do that and more. Much, much more.
          
          Mettaton: This is a nightmare!
          
          Uniqua: Nah, it's just another Tuesday.