this message may be offensive
I still hate haters (birds)
And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate.
(Ok, let’s just get started)
Me:”Oh hater, remember when the two of us were fighting?”
HUA LIAN HATERS:”You mean right now?”
Me:”Why, I remember it like it was yesterday.”
(FLASHBACK)
Me:”You’re not just any bird, you’re an ENDANGERED SPECIES.”
Me:”If I were you, I’d take the breadcrumbs, they’ll be the LAST YOU’LL EVER HAVE!”
Me:”Birds can’t play the guitar.”
(END OF FLASHBACK)
Me:”Ah good times, tho I feel as though my microphone quality has increased since then.”
HUA LIAN HATERS:”I am DONE being called a bird by you!”
Me:”Oh don’t hate the messenger.”
HUA LÍAN HATERS:”FINE, YOU WANT TO MESS WITH A BIRD, THEN PREPARE TO GET YOU ON!!”
Me:”Say what now?”
*Riku looks at his broken cane*
Me:”FUCK!”
*Riku gets yeeted at a wall*
HUA LIAN HATERS:”YEAH! How could a bird do that!?”
Me:”Oh he’s a SASSY BIRD!”
*disgust on hater’s face*
Me:”I swear to fuck, I will not stop until you are all EXTINCT, count your days sky shakers!”
HUA LIAN HATERS:”Really, REALLY? He can’t even DIE without admitting I’m NOT a bird, who cares what’s he going to do?”
Me:”I am at my limit with these FREAKING BIRDS! They eat all your bread and shit on my vest, God who locked this door? Wait I’m the only one who comes in here- God damn it me, where the keys at? Come on, Xie Lian took them, didn’t he? Nope they’re right here, okay just got to unlock the- oh for the love of, OPEN! I Swear you haven’t heard the last of Riku, you feathered freaks! And now you forced my hand!”
*grabs a iPhone*
Me:”Oh for the love of, pick up the phone, PICK UP THE PHONE!”
Me:”Hello.”
Delivery Man:”Hi, you’ve reached Tian Guan Ci Fu’s Animal Control, what can we do for you?”
Me:”I’ve recently come across quite a few winged pests, and they’re causing me a lot of distress, it would take a lot off my shoulders if you could help me exterminate these PUNKS!”
Delivery Man:”All right and the Flaming Pegasi in question were hurting you.”