Vent time!!!
I’m not enough I never will be enough. I try so hard every day to not doubt every aspect of myself and the relationships I’m in with friends, family or my partner. I can’t help, but assume I’m gonna be left one day because I know there are people that have the same personality as me that are nicer and less emotional and just prettier in general, that aren’t as mentally unstable as i am. I doubt how much people care about me I doubt if people actually love me and more specifically I doubt that I’m good enough for the people I date, I assume that they’re gonna find someone better than me, that they’re gonna find someone that’s prettier, same age as them, they can see in person, someone that doesn’t just shut down when one thing they don’t like happens, someone that’s more direct with their feelings, someone that doesn’t doubt how they feel about themself. Because I’m scared my partner doesn’t like me, that our relationship is just out of pity or that they think that they like me but really don’t , people could do one thing differently on how they greet me, say bye/good morning/good night and I will spiral I immediately assume they found someone better, that I’m not enough, that they’re losing interest, they don’t wanna be friends with me, they don’t wanna date me, they wish I wasn’t their family. Any type of abandonment scares me half to death. If I think someone’s gonna leave me I leave before they can because I would rather be the one to leave then go through the pain and having someone else leave me even though when I leave its hurts so much more.
