accidental asshole

Me: I wonder what time it is *turns on phone*
          
          Also me: *checks battery instead*

Remember when I had absolutely no motivation for anything and had to do like mental preparation for fucking showers, felt really awful, was SH and dealing with greif but my parents said I was too young to have depression? Haha so funny.. 

I get secondhand embarrassment so bad when I watch those episodes or movies where characters wake up in each others bodies so hard that it gives me a deep headache. I literally cannot watch. 

Whenever my dad informs me I will like something, he is always, absolutely and completely utterly incorrect. Knows me sooo well, always takes interest in my hobbies (note sarcasm) 

Saw a guy with a nice face and a nice ass but then he ruins it when talking to his friend by saying "my suicidal friend just texted me, but it doesn't matter, I don't care because she's a girl." (paraphrased) but oh my god his was just instantly unattractive to me. Never has a feeling exited my body with such speed

So, when I was a kid, like 6 or 7 we went on holiday to somewhere I can't remember, but the only thing I do remember is that one of the male staff took 'a liking' to me, I guess. Like he would say I was pretty and go get me the honey yogurt I liked when we came too late for breakfast and it was closed, and one day he sat me on his knee and detailed how he would like to take me home on his horse and carriage in the countryside... And I was absolutely terrified. The entire time, I remember refusing to let go of my parents hands as I was so so scared that he would take me away. And my parents? They treated it as a joke. They made me ask this man for more food that had ran out (melon? It may have been melon) , and threatened (I think it was jokingly, I Hope it was) to let him take me. To go home without me.
          
          Its only now that I realise that this was wrong and actually quite traumatising. I don't know if this is considered assault or harrasment, but I am pretty damn sure that this man was a fucking pedophile, and it makes me feel sick that it wasn't taken seriously and I really don't know how to deal with that. 

My name is count spectacular. I will do an interpretative dance whilst wearing a glittery leotard.
          
          (some say that one interpretation is that I  am sucking your blood ;) ) 

So we're on holiday right now and there's a family in the caravan next to us who have 9 kids and about 5 aduts in a 6 bedroom caravan?! They were up until 3 am and were really noisy so we couldnt sleep ugh

I kind of just blend into the background of social situations so it's kinda funny to hear people absolutely hate on half the things I like, 
          
          like today when two kids were saying how annoying one direction songs are, which to be honest not all of them are that great- and that's coming from a pretty big fan- and my friend from the other side of the room just locked eyes with me and there was a thick acknowledgement of "I know you photoshop the faces of one direction members onto teletubbies on a weekly basis" hanging in the air and I have no idea how to describe that emotion. 

I read a book with the line "He can't do much because he's deaf" and I was like you ignorant fucking a list asshole. Are you actually stupid? If you have done any research you would understand how idiotic and ignorant you are being! 
          
          Ugh it really pissed me off - I have issues with repetitive temporary hearing loss so my hearing fluctuates quite a bit, but asides from missing snippets of conversation etc.. There is practically nothing I cannot do or cannot be adapted. Like even with music (mines not bad enough for this, but still my pont stands) deaf people can feel the vibrations of it, and enjoy that way.
          
          It annoys me when people try and write what they think they know, without fact checking or being respectful or just being and igmgnorant asshole. It would take you maybe an hour or less to research. Watch some YouTube videos. Find a documentary. Find a D/deaf persons social media account. Just don't go into something that you don't know about without doing any research!
          
          Anyways, sorry for the rant I just wanted to get this off of my chest