Tania Mckenzie

Hey everyone, just checking in to say I'm probably going to start writing again soon! I've been thinking about it a lot, and getting more motivated. I will give a life update shortly, and may begin to launch some new stuff. God bless y'all!

So cool your engaged, well probably married now!!! Exciting!
          
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@Mystical_Stays_Based that reaction made me laugh lol
          Yeah I'm still alive, just been pretty busy. Trying to keep up with relationships, my greenhouse, and the soon-to-be-mine business I work for. What've you been up to?

@Mystical_Stays_Based 
          Why thank you!

Greetings! I know, I've been gone for a really long time, nearly a year actually. But I'm hoping to return this winter at some capacity. 
          
          My life has been utter chaos, but God has done some really great things. I met the love of my life and am now engaged! 
          
          My fiance is a man of God, the gentlest, kindest, most generous, sweet man I've ever known. He's the only person in the world who makes me feel like I'm not alone anymore. 
          
          Also I uncovered a whole new chapter if childhood trauma my mind blocked out, which I'll explain in my book 'what happened to me'. 
          
          I'd also like to ask for prayer as my fiance and I are facing some legal issues right now due to false allegations against him, allegations which if he is convicted, would carry prison time. 
          
          Please please pray, it could turn into a very bad situation so easily. 
          
          Thanks, and God bless

Hi  I read your profile and I have to say your totally amazing. It takes a lot to oppose things that the majority support. Your totally christian and cool if I do say so myself. 
          Looking forward to chatting with you in future dear

Happy belated birthday, bestie!!!!!✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Update on my life: Think I've found my future husband.
          
          I met the most wonderful man I've ever known 3 and a half months ago, and he's treated me like a queen. Before asking me out, he asked God's permission because I'm God's daughter. 
          
          I've been learning so much about what marriage looks like, and what a godly relationship looks like these past couple of months. 
          
          I've spent most of my life isolated from people as a result of the abuse I experienced. I have a fear of intimacy, and live with C-PTSD. But I have found someone who is patient, gentle, and willing to do whatever it takes to take care of me. 
          
          I'll never forget the first time I opened up about my struggles with ptsd to him. He literally waited quietly for 45 minutes while I wrestled with whether or not to tell him what was on my mind. Guys, that is a very long time to sit in silence. But he did it with a patient smile. 
          
          That's what love does. 
          
          Peace y'all, and to all the single ladies out there, hang on. God's got a plan, but it'll only make sense when it comes to pass. Until then, God bless!

To the person who has a friend with abandoned issues; the one you think of leaving because it feels like they're suffocating you...
          
          I know you didn't ask for this. I know you feel like you're up to your neck and the only way out is cutting someone out of your life that you care about. 
          
          I feel it too. I never asked for this. And I'm drowning. But unlike you, I cannot cut it out of my life.
          
          My fear is slowly strangling me, driving me to run away from it all; to give up and curl up to live the rest of my days alone. Because that would be better than the pain that comes from losing someone I care about. 
          
          But being alone is painful too, and I know that the only way to overcome it all is to do the unthinkable: to try to open up to someone, and trust them to stay. 
          
          So I try. But my fear is drowning you too. I can't do that to you, but you've told me you wouldn't be driven away by it, so I choose to let you stay. 
          
          Now I see you backing away, realizing the enormity of what that meant. I know you're leaving, and so the fear builds more and more; a demon determined to drive you away. And I can't stop it. 
          
          So I watch, panicking inside, but refusing to leave because you promised you wouldn't. 
          
          Then you break your promise. You left. Just as I feared all along. My fear was right, and you lied. 
          
          Sincerely, 
          The soul of those who've been abandoned
          
          PLEASE NOTE: this is written from the perspective of someone with abandoned issues, and has some twisted logic. This is meant solely to help others understand the other side, not to say that all of the other side's feelings are right. And they usually know when they aren't, but cannot convince themselves to believe it. Feelings are not always logical. 
          
          I don't know how someone should deal with someone who has abandonment issues. But I do know this: never make a promise you cannot keep.
          

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