Strangely_Symphonic

this message may be offensive
hello
          	
          	i know you all think i'm dead, and for a while i thought that was for the best. 
          	
          	a lot has happened. i've changed and grown, i've gotten better and worse. medications and psychologists and frequently changing schools, suicide attempts and self harm, and a whole lot of hating myself and other people. love comes and goes and it hurts sometimes.
          	
          	 i failed to kill myself in november of last year, and the first thing i thought when my life became semi-normal again was of you guys. as stupid as this sounds, wattpad was my everything in 2022. all of you meant the world to me. i made friends and enemies, laughed and stayed up until 2am on this godforsaken website. i thought that if i pretended i succeeded and left you all to think of me as dead, i'd find some fucked-up version of 'inner peace'. instead when i came back a bit ago to check on this account, i was just met with sadness. 
          	
          	to be honest, i still don't know if its a good idea to post this. it seems like such an asshole thing to do; "hey! i know i put you all through hell by pretending to be dead because i didn't want to deal with life!! sorry!!!" but i feel like you deserve to know i'm still here.
          	
          	moving forward, i will be inactive on this account. i have another wattpad that i've been using, though i'm not as active on there as i ever was on here. @starman_robbie 
          	
          	my discord is starman <3#0001, please feel free to reach out if we were close. over the next few days i'll be checking this account for dm's asking for my other socials, but if you want to have any other kind of conversations please talk to me anywhere but this account.
          	
          	i'm unsure if i'll delete this account, but if i do i'll post an announcement warning you of it.
          	
          	love always,
          	Robin.

GenderfluidSimpBoi

@Strangely_Symphonic i'm so relieved to know you're still alive, i'm so sorry you've been going through what you have though.  i'm glad you're able to find some semblance of help.  please take care, i know we never talked much but i've been hoping you were somehow okay for a while.  stay safe out there ^^
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Heyitsnumber8

@Strangely_Symphonic Hey hon! I'm so sorry you had to go through all that and I'm so glad you're okay!  <333
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Strangely_Symphonic

this message may be offensive
hello
          
          i know you all think i'm dead, and for a while i thought that was for the best. 
          
          a lot has happened. i've changed and grown, i've gotten better and worse. medications and psychologists and frequently changing schools, suicide attempts and self harm, and a whole lot of hating myself and other people. love comes and goes and it hurts sometimes.
          
           i failed to kill myself in november of last year, and the first thing i thought when my life became semi-normal again was of you guys. as stupid as this sounds, wattpad was my everything in 2022. all of you meant the world to me. i made friends and enemies, laughed and stayed up until 2am on this godforsaken website. i thought that if i pretended i succeeded and left you all to think of me as dead, i'd find some fucked-up version of 'inner peace'. instead when i came back a bit ago to check on this account, i was just met with sadness. 
          
          to be honest, i still don't know if its a good idea to post this. it seems like such an asshole thing to do; "hey! i know i put you all through hell by pretending to be dead because i didn't want to deal with life!! sorry!!!" but i feel like you deserve to know i'm still here.
          
          moving forward, i will be inactive on this account. i have another wattpad that i've been using, though i'm not as active on there as i ever was on here. @starman_robbie 
          
          my discord is starman <3#0001, please feel free to reach out if we were close. over the next few days i'll be checking this account for dm's asking for my other socials, but if you want to have any other kind of conversations please talk to me anywhere but this account.
          
          i'm unsure if i'll delete this account, but if i do i'll post an announcement warning you of it.
          
          love always,
          Robin.

GenderfluidSimpBoi

@Strangely_Symphonic i'm so relieved to know you're still alive, i'm so sorry you've been going through what you have though.  i'm glad you're able to find some semblance of help.  please take care, i know we never talked much but i've been hoping you were somehow okay for a while.  stay safe out there ^^
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Heyitsnumber8

@Strangely_Symphonic Hey hon! I'm so sorry you had to go through all that and I'm so glad you're okay!  <333
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amrigiri

Has anyone else just been messaging him just hoping he'll reply someday

Blue-R0se_

i have been
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thisusergaveuponlife

Hello! I hope you're okay
          I kinda miss seeing your messages pop up in my notifs, hope your depression gets better and you come back soon! I don't mean you have to do everything as you did before, but a "hi, I'm not dead!" once in a while would be appreciated :)

Strangely_Symphonic

hey just fyi i'm going to be going permanently inactive. my depression has been awful recently and i'm probably going to kill myself soon. i hope all of you live happy, wonderful lives. goodbye everyone <3

PQR32HI

@Strangely_Symphonic I wish I’d gotten here sooner, and not just 16 hours ago. I wish I could have been there to help you through all of this, and I’m sorry that I wasn’t. You deserve help, you deserve happiness
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PQR32HI

@Strangely_Symphonic I think I’m too late, but I’m so genuinely sorry. You didn’t deserve to feel this way, you deserved so much better
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Heyitsnumber8

@Strangely_Symphonic hey Robin please don't do that mate.please seek help.it'll get better. there are people who care about you. you're important and amazing and loved. 
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Strangely_Symphonic

this message may be offensive
god i'm so fucking sad
          
          i fucking miss him
          
          i hate myself
          
          he's already over me, he has someone new and i'm GLAD but i'm JEALOUS i hate myself for being jealous
          
          i hate myself for being alive
          
          why did i have to fuck it all up
          
          i fucking loved him. i'd never loved anyone before and it was beautiful it was soft and warm and it made me HAPPY i'd never felt happy like that ever before.
          
          but i went and tossed it out the fucking window and it's tearing me apart.
          
          why do i regret it. why do i miss him. i hate myself for regretting it. i hate myself for missing him
          
          i've dug my own grave and no matter how hard i try i can't climb out of it
          
          do i even want to climb out of it?
          
          no
          
          i hope i die here, in this 6-foot hole i've pushed myself into.
          
          at least if i'm dead i won't feel this pain anymore.
          
          at least if i'm dead i won't miss him
          
          at least if i'm dead i won't want to die

huffelpuffwitch

@ Strangely_Symphonic  idk how breakups work, never even had a relationship in the first place
            
            
            
            But maybe you can start to look at what can happen now instead of what you can't change anymore
            
            The past is done, try to look at what's before you
            
            Also, try working on your mental health
            That's not acusing, I need to do the same
            But for example try to list 3 good things about that day before you go to sleep
            
            It does not work with me
            But it worked with my mum when she was breaking up with my dad
            And science proved that it can work
            
            Idk, try to do things like that
            
            Don't be like I can't think about him
            Instead try to accept that he was a part of your life, but now both of you have to move forward
            
            
            
            That probably doesn't help... But maybe, idk
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Strangely_Symphonic

what if i just decided to give myself a septum piercing. because i have a needle i could do it with. i might get grounded but idrc-

Blue-R0se_

@Strangely_Symphonic dont do it yourself sneak out and buy one from a pro
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Strangely_Symphonic

@omgcatlolx the cons vastly outnumber the pros but i really want one
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Strangely_Symphonic

THIS IS VERY VERY IMPORTANT. PLEASE LISTEN.
          
          in about an hour i'm going to upen up to my therapist about my mental health crisis
          
          there is a high chance i will be institutionalized
          
          in the case of that happening, i will be inactive on here until further notice.

snowflakeribbons

@Strangely_Symphonic oh okay. Take care. Be safe. 
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