SpookTinker

Getting awarded for a position that you don't think you're deserving of is a different feeling. I ranked 2nd in my class. Don't think I'm worthy of, don't think I did well. 
          	Whenever someone calls me smart, I feel like puking. Because they don't see how anxious I get, they don't see the tears I shed, they don't know how I leave everything to the last moment because I'm only human. 
          	Now we've got another exam coming up, and I don't think I'm in the state to maintain the momentum. 
          	I don't feel smart, I'm not smart. I think I'm just a girl who got lucky.

roses_are_poses

@numberonesss i'm glad i could remind you! Perfection would be boring anyway, since what good are your 'achievements' without having a low to work from🥰
• Reply

SpookTinker

@roses_are_poses I think when a lot of people expect "perfection" from you, it gets to your head. Maybe I'm in that phase right now. But... you're right. We don't have to be perfect to earn something. I think in life, we tend to forget this. Thank you for reminding me. It means soo much. You're the best. :)
• Reply

SpookTinker

@_aerisx_ It's a terrible feeling to relate to. But sometimes I feel that it's part of being human. Sort of undeniable? Haha. I try and be positive all the time, but it fails sometimes? 
          	  But I'm so thankful for the message. I appreciate it a lot. It means a lot.
• Reply

SpookTinker

Getting awarded for a position that you don't think you're deserving of is a different feeling. I ranked 2nd in my class. Don't think I'm worthy of, don't think I did well. 
          Whenever someone calls me smart, I feel like puking. Because they don't see how anxious I get, they don't see the tears I shed, they don't know how I leave everything to the last moment because I'm only human. 
          Now we've got another exam coming up, and I don't think I'm in the state to maintain the momentum. 
          I don't feel smart, I'm not smart. I think I'm just a girl who got lucky.

roses_are_poses

@numberonesss i'm glad i could remind you! Perfection would be boring anyway, since what good are your 'achievements' without having a low to work from🥰
• Reply

SpookTinker

@roses_are_poses I think when a lot of people expect "perfection" from you, it gets to your head. Maybe I'm in that phase right now. But... you're right. We don't have to be perfect to earn something. I think in life, we tend to forget this. Thank you for reminding me. It means soo much. You're the best. :)
• Reply

SpookTinker

@_aerisx_ It's a terrible feeling to relate to. But sometimes I feel that it's part of being human. Sort of undeniable? Haha. I try and be positive all the time, but it fails sometimes? 
            But I'm so thankful for the message. I appreciate it a lot. It means a lot.
• Reply

roses_are_poses

Hey!
          I wanted to as if you have any socials (other than Wattpad) that we can connect to? I think you mentioned not having insta. Do you have tiktok? :3

SpookTinker

@roses_are_poses Tbh, I have been thinking about it. Let's see!
• Reply

roses_are_poses

@numberonesss Nooo ):
            Tell me if u get it up agian!
• Reply

SpookTinker

@roses_are_poses omggg I would love to, but I got off tiktok earlier this year :(
• Reply

SpookTinker

I think I'm being ragebaited by bts and their fans but I'm not sure? Because every time I see clips of bts at their concert. ( RM wearing a Whitney Houston quote, yes THE Whitney Houston, a survivor of SA and DA ) I feel baffled. And then I look at the comments, because all of this feels performative to me, I see people defending the members. I'm absolutely, disgustingly flabbergasted. 
          I'm sorry I keep commenting on this topic, but all of this feels ACTUALLY unreal to me.

roses_are_poses

@numberonesss I'm totally with u on this girl dw... And I've seen MANY videos of grown women complaining about the whole situation but ending the video with "I'm still a fan tho bc it's not like Hope and RM did any of the abuse I'm just dissapointed" HUH?
• Reply

SpookTinker

To the person that messaged me, telling me how I was never really an ARMY, because I left BTS so easily. And that I was probably already looking for a way out of the fandom.
          
          You can call me whatever you like. But I hope you remember.
          
          R. Kelly got away with so much for so long because too many people were willing to separate the artist from the art. 
          
          Stop thinking about the group for once, and feel for the women that have gone through something similar.

SpookTinker

@roses_are_poses Thank you :)
            Also, it's actually so disappointing. Being named a 'hater' just because you're not supporting their wrongs. I really do hope more people realise the gravity of the situation, and stand up for what's right.
• Reply

roses_are_poses

@numberonesss I'm so proud of you, see a fellow ARMY stand for what's right... I've also been getting flamed on my insta, and I think it's honestly disgusting seeing what ARMY have become ];
            I don't think they understand how hard this actually is for true feminists to stand up and choose our morals over the group we loves so much
• Reply

SpookTinker

So boycotting the Grammys is apparently easier than not attending a Chris Brown concert? 
          
          I was just going on and on about how it's a massive step by BTS members to not submit to the Grammys and to not succumb to such segregation of Asian artists. 
          
          And now this happens.
          
           Extremely disappointed. How do we recover from this? And I'm sorry, but the ARMYs that defend them by saying that they're grown men and that they can do whatever they want. Pathetic. That is the whole point. They need to own up to their mistakes.

roses_are_poses

@numberonesss RIP being an ARMY... won't be forgotten. There's nothing they can which would make me come back to it atp...
• Reply

SpookTinker

@roses_are_poses So true. Now that I think about it, there's a lot they've done wrong. I also remember the breast cancer awareness event now. What a mess that was. What a mess this is.
• Reply

roses_are_poses

@numberonesss this whole situation feels off, and bts havent felt the same since 2023... there's a chnage in their morals and its not a good one. They've gotten WAY too comfortable in their now privileged lifestyle. It hurts to see. I feel for all their fans who survived abùsers...
• Reply