Tylrthcrator

Mourning your cat's death while on your period is not something I wish on any enemy. (this sucks bro) 

Is it just me while reading and blasting music in my ears I completely get into the fic I don't even hear my music? Anyone else?

After years of procrastination, I have finally watched the maze runner movies. And why have I never watched them sooner omggg.. they're so good. I am now reading fanfics of it lmao. Yes, I have finally achieved a new fandom unlock. 
          
          No reason why I only just watched them. But I am not disappointed!!
          
          I did like the last one but personally I liked the first two the most.. 
          
          
          
          anyway give me some good recs for newtmas (yes. I am reading that pair bcs they have such good tension tbh) 
          

To any other trans people who have come out to their parents how did you do it? Like, it shouldn't be this hard honestly. I am ready to tell them I think I'm just putting it off because I'm not sure of their reactions.
          
          I mean, I'm pretty sure they're okay with it I just don't want to deal with the questions. 
          
          Also I think I want to wait maybe a little more just to make sure I really am trans, I am like 89.931% sure I'm trans, but also I keep questioning it.
          
          Okay, so... I feel giddy and happy when someone calls me 'dude' and stuff and refers to me as a guy, but at the same time I still think 'is this right? Am I actually trans?' I'm more sure than not but it makes me annoyed cause I just can't seem to be positive abt it so....
          
          Any way to get over it?? I just need some help -_- 

Long rant ahead, nothing bad just getting this off my chest cause I can't talk to my friend abt it, and some other stuff cause I literally cannot shut up even when I'm writing :)
          
          I'm literally so ready to come out as trans and bi to my parents, but I'm scared too. It feels the same when I was ready to tell them I was a lesbian, just less scared? Idk how that makes sense since I really don't know how they will react. Both of them aren't homophobic, my dad isn't transphobic as far as I'm aware, but I'm not too sure about my mum. I don't think she is but I could never know. 
          
          But yea, like I'm really nervous just not scared... It's also funny how I will have done this twice when I do finally tell them lmaoo. Technically 3 times since I'm bi as well lol. 
          
          Anyways, I also need to get a job and it's going to happen pretty soon I think, so doing that before telling my parents is gonna be a bit weird, will have to use my deadname sadly. Can't go into a job telling them a name that I can't have on a name tag or smth cause if I did use my preferred name then my parents would be confused lol
          
          Also on top of having a preferred name, I'm not too sure if I like Tyler... I don't think that name suits me anymore and I've been feeling like this for a while actually, I just don't know what to be called atm. No name has popped into my head that fits like a glove... Not that I've really been trying to figure out a new name as of late just been a thought back up there in all of the other thoughts that aren't so important...
          
          I kinda have bad voice dysphoria If that's a thing? Like I guess it is I suppose. I just hate it, obviously it won't sound how I really want it to cause I'm not on T but still, I just wish I could sound the way I want to. That's really the only thing I'm dysphoric about, yea I hate my chest but that's only cause I can't get it flat enough so sometimes it just puts off the illusion I'm cis :(
          

Still cringing at how I totally cannot use a b°n§. That was embarrassing, and I didn't even get h!§h... I need to take an L for that one omg

Why is my only fear as a trans person is that no one will want to date me... Lmao
          
          Like, straight girls,, are they ok with dating a trans guy? And gay dudes, are they ok dating a trans guy too? It just really messes with my head and it's really my only fear/concern atm. Help :( 

I wanna read a gut wrenching, heart breaking, soul sucking book rn... I know one, but I don't know what it's called, where I can find it or where I read it. I just need some pain rn, yk? 
          
          Sigh....
          
          
          I hate life tbh. What can I do ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯
          
          
          
          Anyway, if you can find it I'll give you phat smooch on the cheek (⁠●⁠’⁠3) 
          
          
          Okay, it's drarry. I'm pretty sure they write letters back and forth or smth, harry forgot who Draco was I think... Then some other stuff, I think Draco died and harry is so heartbroken and  some things happen... , I don't remember specifics... But I do know that it actually broke my heart, so bad. I wanna read it again. If you can find it I appreciate you sm <3 
          
          (When I finished reading I was sobbing, and my mum came into my room lmao) it was a couple years ago so I hope it's still up...
          
          I think it was on Wattpad. 
          
          
          Okay .. I think that's all :) 

Hi everyone... Sorry to say I think I'm gonna have to abandon "institution for the gays". I know how many people somehow liked the book, and sorry that the old chapters I'm posting will not be updated and it won't make any sense... If anyone would like to take over it, I'm more than welcome to give it to you.
          
          Thank you to whoever had continued through with me while I first started it, it means so much and I'm really proud of where I have come from, since the beginning of writing.
          
          I appreciate who has voted and committed on my story and who followed me, you mean the absolute most to me. I'm super sorry for what I am doing.
          
          I just don't have the motivation to continue, and I'm not sure if I will. I am focusing more on a story on my ao3, than this, honestly. I was going to finish my other one over there once I had finished "institution for the gays" 
          
          I wasn't going to do anything with it but I decided to try and re-write it a bit but I cannot be bothered. I haven't looked at the next chapter for weeks. And I don't have any idea where to go now.
          
          Thank you for all of your support, I hope you're not too mad about it :/
          
          If anyone would like to take it and do it themselves, just DM me and I'll send you the chapter or you can just write it however you like. Do whatever. I don't mind.
          
          I love you all so much !! <3 

Hi everyone :) I made a discord if anyone wants to join.
          
          Link here → https://discord.com/invite/q3bFV5ec