"I hate having social anxiety; I have to mentally prepare myself for ten minutes just to say "here" during attendance."





"Sometimes Insanity Is A Necessity To Do Great Things"





"Everyone just wants to be liked and accepted. Except for Tom. Tom doesn't give a shit."





"Filling out a credit card application, my friend came upon this question: 'What is your source of income?' She wrote: 'ATM.'"





"Showering as a mom is like an Olympic sport. Fans are calling your name and you're pressured to finish in record time."





"No! Of course cramps don't hurt! It's just my body laying a FREAKING egg and if it doesn't get used, my body will just RIP down the walls inside me. No big deal."





"When a women says "What?", it's not because she didn't hear you. She's giving you a chance to change what you said."





"I'm not crazy I'm just... special!... No, wait maybe I am crazy. Hmmm, one second. I need to talk to myself about this... Hold on!"





"I wasn't mad. Then you asked me 7 times if I was mad. Well, now I'm mad."





"Dear Teacher, I talk to everyone, so moving my seat won't help."





{EXTREMELY SLOW UPDATES, BUT TRYING MY BEST}