Retroflier

The voice grew pained.
          	
          	“Osric, please,” it said. “Don’t do anything that might end with your demotion, or with me getting stuffed into a toaster. I can get demoted too, you know! Right back down to a candle-spirit!”
          	
          	Osric said nothing. The doors boomed impressively when he pushed them open.
          	
          	“Just watch what you say!” hissed the voice. “Be polite! Is there anything stuck in your teeth? Stop slouching!”
          	
          	Chapter Three of Telling Stories is up! -- https://www.wattpad.com/story/224936559-telling-stories -- This story is a kinda ridiculous experiment I banged out in a few months a while back.  You ever write something that you 100% don't take seriously, and do it just for fun, or to get a silly idea out of your system?  That's what this thing was.  I've still got a soft spot for it just for that reason, hahaha.

Retroflier

The voice grew pained.
          
          “Osric, please,” it said. “Don’t do anything that might end with your demotion, or with me getting stuffed into a toaster. I can get demoted too, you know! Right back down to a candle-spirit!”
          
          Osric said nothing. The doors boomed impressively when he pushed them open.
          
          “Just watch what you say!” hissed the voice. “Be polite! Is there anything stuck in your teeth? Stop slouching!”
          
          Chapter Three of Telling Stories is up! -- https://www.wattpad.com/story/224936559-telling-stories -- This story is a kinda ridiculous experiment I banged out in a few months a while back.  You ever write something that you 100% don't take seriously, and do it just for fun, or to get a silly idea out of your system?  That's what this thing was.  I've still got a soft spot for it just for that reason, hahaha.

Retroflier

this message may be offensive
“I didn’t faint!” he said.
          
          “You passed out on the floor when you tried to get near it.  That is fucking fainting, you liar.”
          
          “Did you write that into your journal as well?”
          
          I curled my cracked lips into a smile and gave a wheezy laugh, hur, hur, hur.
          
          Chapter Twenty-Four of Hinterland is up! -- https://www.wattpad.com/story/224440297-hinterland -- Sweet merciful christ, that's the last chapter!  That's a wrap for this story.  The first draft of the sequel is underway as we speak, maybe a third of the way completed, because this stupid series is stupid fun to write.  As for this story itself, I'm thinking Wattys!
          
          Huge thank you to everyone and anyone who read along with this!

Retroflier

Simon’s mother stood behind us, not thirty feet away.
          
          The red mist crept around her ankles like a cat. Her hands were in her pockets and a smoking cigarette dangled from the corner of her mouth. Without hesitation I wound back and flung the axe at her.
          
          It was a good throw. The axe whirred through the air, end over end. Mrs Miller lifted her hand and the axe handle flew squarely into it.
          
          “Nice try, Mumford,” she said. “Well done. Nothing wrong with your instincts, though your better sense could use some work.”
          
          Chapter Twenty-Three of Hinterland is up! -- https://www.wattpad.com/story/224440297-hinterland -- Only one more chapter to go after this!

Retroflier

“What do you mean the water’s gone?” I cried. I looked around stupidly, like maybe it had just fallen between the sofa cushions. “Where is it? Where did you last put it?”
          
          “It’s not missing, Morgan,” said Simon. He showed me the empty bottle. “I mean, it’s gone. We drank the last of it last night.”
          
          Chapter Twenty One of Hinterland is up! -- https://www.wattpad.com/story/224440297-hinterland

Retroflier

“It’s amazing,” said Noelle. She hesitantly touched one of the crystals that dangled from a giant brass chandelier that sat perched atop a stack of old chairs. “All of this belongs to your dad?”
          
          “Yeah. He’s a bit of a collector. Sometimes he sells it or donates it to museums. This isn’t the full collection. A lot of the fancier stuff seems to be missing. And I don’t see the howitzer.”
          
          Chapter Twenty of Hinterland is up! -- https://www.wattpad.com/story/224440297-hinterland

Retroflier

"I think I’m starting to understand why Sikes gets such a kick out of teleporting around all the time. Listening to the screams as we blasted into the middle of the kitchen crowd was pretty great. Sikes threw Jack a jaunty salute and blam, he was gone again, leaving Schroeder and I staggering in his wake. I was still holding the bowl of ravioli, which I dropped to the floor in shock, splat.
          
          It took a minute or two for the hysterics to subside."
          
          Chapter Nineteen of Hinterland is up! -- https://www.wattpad.com/story/224440297-hinterland -- AKA the chapter where Morgan and Schroeder get into a fight in the shower.  I had a lot of fun writing this one lol.