Lucas-Kai Zaw

I am getting rid of this account. It is time that I make an account strictly for roleplaying that represents the 20yo version of me. It'll be more focused around Lukuro than myself. If you are interested, you can dm me to get the new @

Update for me disappearing again + WARNING FOR CAT OWNERS
          
          I've been taking an agronomy class in college. One plant I'm growing is a black charm Lilium. Mother wanted to get one, so I gave her one. She took it to work, but the wind tore off the leaves, and it was deficient in light. She decided to bring it to the house.
          
          Now heed my warning.
          
          All lilies are EXTREMELY toxic to cats and will often end in death within the next week if no treatment is given. EVERYTHING is toxic. The pollen, the stem, the petals, the leaves, the water, even the scent. Any small amount of lili is a disaster. Fatal kidney failure will happen within 3 three days.
          
          Well, our cat ate a leaf. 4 days ago. Yesterday, she began drinking water on her own after refusing to eat and drink for 3 days. She was throwing up as well. I was taking this as a good sign she was getting better. But today is Day 4
          
          Sadly... I don't think she's getting better. I think she's actually getting worse. She's getting up and moving, but when she jumps down off the towel rack or the couch, she immediately lays down. Her drinking was a good sign at first, but excessive drinking is a sign of kidney failure. She hasn't eaten in 4 days, and we can't even force her to eat. Mother gave her cranberry mixed with water, but I don't think it'll help
          
          I would bring up the idea of euthanasia to mother, but 1) she'd probably accuse me of giving up and not caring. 2) it's what, a hundred dollars? She says with our bills, we can't pay anything extra. Even if the care it would take her was only a thousand, "that's a thousand dollars we don't have."
          
          She doesn't even meow anymore like she did all the time. She always hated being picked up. Now she doesn't make a sound except for sad purring
          
          If she makes it, it'll be a miracle. But I don't think this is going to be

I absolutely hate being sick. I can't breeeeeeaaaaathe

Back from a surprise hiatus. Had some issues going on and family drama (specifically our family receiving death threats from a disowned member's daughter)
          
          But I should be feeling better mentally to get back to rolepalying. Even got my guy updated since wow... he was outdated haha

Alright I watched Dragons Rising and holy- freaking Master Lloyd being his older self is so freaking amazing. He's a major doofus, and it shows the RGB sibling relationship (Kai, Lloyd, Nya). It brings back the older style of Jinjago as well while also being a rebooted version of it, but it all still feels natural and allows for even more Lore! We get to see more of the 16 realms as well, which I'm assuming the main antagonist is from the Legends of Chima realm
          
          16 Realms:
          
          1 Cursed Realm
          2 Djinjago
          3 Chima
          4 Cloud Kingdom
          5 Kingdom of Madness
          6 Realm of Oni and Dragon
          7 Neverrealm
          8 Underworld
          9 Departed
          10 Imperium
          11 Realm of Lee (mentioned in DR)
          12 Administration (mentioned in magazine)
          13 [Unknown]
          14 [Unknown]
          15 [Unknown]
          16 [Unknown]
          
          However, there are technically other "realms" BUT they confirmed to be not considered realms
          1 Digiverse (Ninjago)
          2 Prime Empire (Ninjago)
          3 Outer Space (Ninjago)
          4 Knighton (Nexoknights. Ninjago is a TV show)
          5 Hidden Side (Hidden Side)
          6 Okoto (Bionicle)
          7 LEGO Island
          8 Dream World (DREAMZzz. Ninjago is a TV show)
          

Finally got myself to watching Crystalised for Ninjago. I adore Sally so freaking much
          
          Current Episode I'm Watching: A Sinister Shadow

I can't shake the feeling that I'm a bad person despite my counselor telling me that having bad thoughts doesn't make me a bad person
          
          But what about choosing to not be an organ donor when any organ donated could be fixed up? Kids are dying because they don't have the roght organs and here I am ruining the organs I have when I could be doing the good person thing and eating better to keep them healthy for other people
          
          But on the other hand... I'm tired of living for other people. I want to live for myself but what's the point if I'm dying anyway?

Thursday Nights are DND (Dungeons and Dragons) nights at my college but I may end up joining a second DND group?
          
          Anyways, this Thursday (August 10, 2023) will also hold my drivers test. It is a little nerve-wracking to think about, especially because I'll be in a car that I don't own
          
          My car is currently under repair- transmission has acted up and I have a CV shaft to replace. Not to mention air conditioner (a much needed thing in the south) and my driver side windows refuse to work. So a lot of work to be done on my car before I have it fixed. I can't wait to start driving though because I'll have more freedom towards myself and feel more safe existing

Hey everyone, I know I said I'll try and get back into being online but I've run into some issues
          
          1) being put on a new ADHD med that will cause me to have to get drug tested every 6 months
          
          2) I brought up C-PTSD to my counselor, he said that we have been working my "complex trauma" for the past year. I'm unsure if that means I may or may not have it
          
          3) I realised a major issue with why I disappear comes from childhood trauma resulting on what is called Avoidance Attachment. I have a hard time containing/maintaining friendshipsdue to the fear of rejection or myself being a major issue kneading to abandonment. "Someone with an avoidant attachment also won't pester their friends to share their emotions or to spend time with them. They will allow them their personal space. People with avoidant attachment can be great for practical advice. However, they may not tell their friends what they want to hear."
          
          4) our city is on the verge of flooding after 3 weeks of rain. We've been in drought for nearly 30 years and these past 3 weeks have filled up all of our lakes and flooded the streets. There's literal fish in the streets
          
          5) with these major storms comes tornado warnings and power outages. Looking at the weather, it won't be letting up until Thursday and Friday before starting again on Saturday

I will try to be active now, but I can't make promises. The past two weeks, we've been dealing with major storms that had chances of forming tornadoes
          Due to the storms, my grandma's house has been flooding
          
          I also had x-rays done on my spine, and I hope to learn what's wrong soon. Possibly just scoliosis acting up.
          
          I have also been figuring things out with myself and my mental health. On Tuesday, I will be talking to my counsellor about possible C-PTSD or Psychosis. I know, scary words right there, but thankfully, I haven't acted on anything except for hurting myself through anger.
          
          I'm hoping all goes well. Hopefully, I can come back and get back into the groove of things