Sam

Yo guess who got into the used and started writing stuff again.
          
          Only put up a story that is a snippet of a larger work that I am working on with someone else. 
          
          I don't know if it's a thing again that I'm uploading consistently but if I'm in the mood I'll put up more stuff

hello! 
          i recently turned 18. i have come to the point that i don't think that i will be updating from now on. i am glad that i am still getting notifications about people reading my stories, but i think that i am a different kind of creator now. i have no pressure to update on here anymore. if i do update, well great, but if this is the last time, well, bye.

Yo! I'm currently working on a seb Stan one shot and another part for Toxic Love (it's in the one shot book bc I didn't know if I wanted to make a full thing out of it at the time.) Hopefully I will actually finish them both. 

ik people probably don't read these. but you don't know how much I've wanted to be able to write for about the last two years and i just haven't been able to. i want to write but i've no idea what to write about. you think with the amount of books i read, i'd have some idea!

i just read one of my old one shots. gr8 content haha

Honestly? I have not been depressed or thought bad things since school started. But today I scratched myself on purpose and felt like I was going to cry because I was depressed because I got angry. I think anger is the problem. Sadness doesn't make me want to kill myself or hurt myself. It only makes me hollow. Anger makes me want to tear myself apart. It makes me want to quit. It makes me lose my focus.
          
          In school related news, school has been good. I started study this year so I haven't been stressed out about having to get homework done at home as much. However, I don't do anything school related at home. I cant do it. I cant put extra effort into anything school related anymore. I hate being bare minimum but I have to just to stay sane.

Do people even care about wattpad anymore?

i would like to thank all you guys (the followers) for sticking around (if you did), reading my stuff, and showing your support through votes and comments through the years. also, welcome to the new guys (who started following from july). it's lovely to see that my wattpad is still actively gaining some sort of following (im not trying to sound cocky. sorry if that sentence comes across that way). 
          so thank you thank you and you. over there. yes you. thank yoouuu...

CW// SEXUAL THEMES
          
          you know the way i said i was writing again? i just find it hard to. i am even finding it hard just to read now. i find it hard to be creative in coming up with ideas. i may turn into one of those people who just does one shots that talk way to little effort but a while to write haha. in the middle of writing a one shot. the mains are Jack (not necessarily JackAllTimeLow as he is not described as having any of his attributes. you can use any Jack you want ;) )and an unnamed girl who for the sake of being able to keep track of her is called 'Kitten'.
          you may be thinking "woah sam. did you just..." yes i did. 
          i have dabbled in kinky sh*t in my past writings (due to my inspriration of Posion). i have never went in to much depth with it.  but i am making a 'kinky' one shot. if you don't like that, well i feel like doing it. 
          now i do not proclaim to be any sort of expert in the ways of kink. whatever is within this one shot is whatever i find hot, to put it plainly haha. (sorry klaudia if you're reading this). so dont take this one shot too seriously. if i do anything 'wrong' (well i dont think yo can really do anything wrong. sexuality is expressed differently from person to person), sorry, i guess :p
          i dont know when it will be uploading. something might happen that i dont finish it like all my past ventures into writing. but i hope to finish it as it is only a one shot.
          so if you care, be on the look out. if you dont, well ignore this post then :)

i wrote two chapters but i become uninspired again. i read the divergent series and was captivated. now i'm low-key depressed all the time. sometimes it's worse. i'm uninspired. i have nothing to run from so i cannot read. but i am depressed and tired and but don't want to waste my summer.
          i hate summer because i tend to get more so depressed then. i felt it started in the beginning of may, the constant heaviness in my chest and tiredness in my eyes. it went away for a few days, for exams, but it came back, even if in a less severe form. 
          i want to accomplish things everyday even if that means crocheting a few motifs, reading a few chapters, watching a few episodes. i will try to write, but as i have said time and time again, i am uninspired. i am unambitious.
          i am... tired.