( ͡ºั ͜ʖ ͡ºั )

Thunder is just the sound of God's cheeks clapping. Change my mind

Is it just me or do other people freak out when they see how much emo stars change over the years. It's like, a sign from the heavens that it really is a phase.

So I was discussing with a friend who insisted that Gallade and Torin have a daughter the other day, and while 'explaining' to her why that isn't possible (she knows why, we were just joking owo) it reminded me of a scene from The Life Of Brian. 
          
          Judith: But why do you want to be Loretta, Stan?
          
          Stan: I want to have babies.
          
          Reg: You want to have babies?
          
          Stan/Loretta: It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.
          
          Reg: But... you can't have babies!
          
          Loretta: Don't oppress me!
          
          Reg: I'm not oppressing you, Stan. You haven't got a womb! Where's the fetus going to gestate? What are you going to do, keep it in a box?
          
          Loretta: *cries*
          
          Judith: Here! I-I've got an idea. Suppose you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb, which is nobody's fault, not even the Romans', but that he can have the right to have babies.
          
          Francis: Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother. Sister. Sorry.
          
          Reg: What's the point?
          
          Francis: What?
          
          Reg: What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies when he can't have babies?
          
          Francis: It's symbolic in our struggle against oppression.
          
          Reg: *quietly* It's symbolic of his struggle against reality.

Yo dude it's me emma

So I was thinking about something. Gallade and Nala have a daughter named Mindy. Nala has heterozygous genetics, the dominant allele being pink and the recessive being green. Henceforth, her fur is pink. Her parents are also heterozygous, her father's dominant allele blue, her mother's dominant pink, and both of their recessives green. Gallade, however, has a recessive genetic mutation that eradicates all pigment, leaving his fur white and black. His dad is homozygous with dominant blue, and his mother is heterozygous, her dominant allele cyan and her recessive navy blue. Mindy (their daughter's) fur color is the problem. Her fur is yellow. This means that she is either an unlikely genetic mutation, or one of her parents has a dominant allele for the color yellow. This means that Gallade, scientifically, is not the father.  Then who is? Nala what the actual hell

Imagine if cum wasn't thousands of tiny sperm cells but one big sperm cell, and every time you jacked off you'd have to kill it before it got away. Then again, sperm cells only last for a few seconds outside the body. But what if they could last for days, and every guy in the world simultaneously jacked off at once, and all the small dog-sized sperm cells made it into the sewer system? What if instead of those plagues of rats where rats are everywhere and crawling all over the streets, it was a plague of sperm cells just wriggling around? And image running over like ten of them on your drive to work and you can just hear the squelch of them under your tires. What if they were kept as pets, and instead of those puppy mills where they bread dogs, it would be like a sperm cell mill where they would just hire like a hundred guys to masturbate? What would you feed your pet sperm cell? Would passing a large sperm cell be as painful as childbirth to guys? I really don't think so because cells are squishy, but would it still hurt? What if people walked their pet sperm cells? Would there be a sperm cell park where they would squiggle around and make sperm cell friends? Would they still have the genetic desire to find egg cells? Just like people make dog stuffed animals, would they make a sperm cell plush? If you had a pet sperm cell, would you have to explain to your children how it came to be (because it wasn't birthed)? In sex ed, would they bring in sperm cells for everyone to play with? If you tried to pet a sperm cell, would it be slimy? Okay I really should stop I'm actually typing this as I think of it and I'm freaking myself out

I got apprehended at school for saying Satan. Why the f is it that I can be called a retard but I can't say Satan. Satan Satan Satan Satan

The Easter Bunny is just Jesus's fursona. Change my mind