Yuna

No matter how much u say beauty doesnt matter the ugly truth is beauty matters.
          
          I fucking hate how cheap peoples mindset can be. Bitch I am trying to be the best version of me everyday and u tell me crap to ruin my mood. If u r fat, u get teased at every family function about how big ur butt looks. If u r skinny, u get teased that u arent eating anything and thats why u have a flat chest. 
          
          I've always felt my weight has been a barrier for others to love me. I've skinny cousins who are worshipped by my relatives and then there is me who gets constantly criticized for being chubby
          
          Uk what. Fuck ur idealistic thoughts abt how women and men should be. Yes this generation pays no heed to the older ones because we donot stand things that hurt our self esteem or pride.
          
          Yes we are assholes according to you all.
          
          Thank you

I am rambling here cause I dont want to ramble to any of my friends irl.. Reading this they might think I am pathetic. Actually even you guys may think I am pathetic. 
          
          So the thing is,  last year i joined a new school for my senior year and this new school just has a group of students think they are too good looking, too popular and too judgmental. I wouldn't say they are good looking af but yeah ig they are better looking if that makes sense? 
          
          Anyhow my point is, my self esteem is zero after seeing them all and I started becoming way too conscious about how i behave in front of them. Mostly because I started believing that I aint good enough for them or that I need their validation to be known as cool. 
          
          Today I came across some social media accounts of popular kids who are way younger than me and... idk despite being a senior, i feel like i've not even enjoyed 1/4rth of what they call as "fun". 
          
          I've no cool friends, I'm not cool, I lack confidence, I lack self esteem, I look shit 3/4rth of the year, I am a mess completely, I dont have any aesthetic pics or memories to look back to
          
          I know after a point it doesn't matter and this thought itself is pathetic af. But sometimes I just look at mirror and ask myself
          
          "u got nothing to even be proud of abt urself"
          
          it hurts at times and it hurt a lot today  
          
          
          ALR THANK YOU PEOPLE FOR READING THIS RAMBLE 
          
          YOU MAY CONTINUE UR BUSINESS AS YOU PLEASE
          
          
          UNTIL WE MEET NEXT TIME WITH MY ANXIETY TALKS

AAAAND guess who has her history boards tomorrow ☠️

its funny how parents tend to degrade their children in front of everyone at times and still complain to you on how you don't have self confidence and you need to develop some :)

Hello dear, sorry for the ping. I have recently opened a graphic shop! Where I make all multifandom cover and themes for profile as well. If time permits do visit my shop!
          
          Thankyou and have a nice day!
          
          https://www.wattpad.com/story/352424493?utm_source=android&utm_medium=link&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details_button&wp_uname=-bunniee&wp_originator=sa944ZUJxbpe8kdim8tJsKBmUKlcdAuQsLJQbjZYtA2fHibmLZHCnrAte87aoRhWWi6EB%2F0ckog20OIjT00ZqB0pWgRfDZdICiY2XmF0ktYripp7qhBB%2B9Jtijs8x%2F4t

any rats alive?

YALL I AM GOING FOR A TWO DAY TRIP FROM MY SCHOOL TOMRW
          
          IDK IF I'LL DIE CAUSE OF A BUS ACCIDENT SO I JUST WANTED TELL YALL;
          
          
          HEYYY HOW HAVE U BEEN?

what if you are just being nice to me? why are you messing up the equilibrium of my heart?
          
          stop setting my expectations so high... i might fall for you hard and you will never cause we both know i am just an average looking girl
          
          stop smiling at me already; u r making my heart giddy :)

So there is this guy in my bus who is a complete nerd and people hate him cause he's good in studies and extra curricular.. 
          
          he recently opened up to me saying his parents are divorced and stuff about how people judge him so hard that he has now learnt to let go of it.. he only have 3 friends at school. i feel really bad for him
          
          the nosy part of me wants to go to him and say, "i'm here for u if u need to talk :D"
          
          should i?

I feel short of breath. My chest feels congested. I'm trying to breath as much as I can but it doesn't reach anywhere close to my chest.