Kidatash

I'm finally in Cambodia now! Mom and I have been doing well, big bro and his gf are also doing well. All six dogs through in good condition. We got a home, even if it isn't much it's still my new home. So no worries guys, I'm okay. Mostly. Mental health and stress wise I'm a wreck, I don't even know why I'm doing this anymore. I always used to enjoy writing and telling my stories. But nowadays, think throughout this entire year I've just, I don't even know. I feel lost, unmotivated. Basically worthless as hell and ain't that the truth. I can barely keep myself together, I didn't even know what I was thinking I'd be enough of a composed mentally stable person to finish a book. So what's the point? Still going to try and finish Reservation, hopefully make a series out of it and make atleast one stupid childish dream come true in some format one way or another. Besides,I have to keep my promise and I want to keep my promise. Not just to my mom but to myself. It's gonna be a slow and rocky process but one I'm commited to either way.
          	
          	But physically, I'm fine, I guess. Hopefully it'll get better soon. 
          	
          	Hope everyone's okay.

Kidatash

@Glory_feeling2 Thanks, I felt like I needed that
Reply

Glory_feeling2

@Kidatash Wow. Cambodia ... that must have been some trip! Just take it one day it time, my friend. My situation is a little different, but there are times when I ask myself why am I still here after all the years I've got in fights with trolls among the community (ones who gave me stress ...although I forgive, I do not forget) and other situations not worth mentioning. As I say  ... rest if you must but please don't quit. 
          	  For myself, I had a month-long break last year because I had to take care of some health problems. Take care of yourself first, don't pressure yourself. Take Care!
Reply

Kidatash

I'm finally in Cambodia now! Mom and I have been doing well, big bro and his gf are also doing well. All six dogs through in good condition. We got a home, even if it isn't much it's still my new home. So no worries guys, I'm okay. Mostly. Mental health and stress wise I'm a wreck, I don't even know why I'm doing this anymore. I always used to enjoy writing and telling my stories. But nowadays, think throughout this entire year I've just, I don't even know. I feel lost, unmotivated. Basically worthless as hell and ain't that the truth. I can barely keep myself together, I didn't even know what I was thinking I'd be enough of a composed mentally stable person to finish a book. So what's the point? Still going to try and finish Reservation, hopefully make a series out of it and make atleast one stupid childish dream come true in some format one way or another. Besides,I have to keep my promise and I want to keep my promise. Not just to my mom but to myself. It's gonna be a slow and rocky process but one I'm commited to either way.
          
          But physically, I'm fine, I guess. Hopefully it'll get better soon. 
          
          Hope everyone's okay.

Kidatash

@Glory_feeling2 Thanks, I felt like I needed that
Reply

Glory_feeling2

@Kidatash Wow. Cambodia ... that must have been some trip! Just take it one day it time, my friend. My situation is a little different, but there are times when I ask myself why am I still here after all the years I've got in fights with trolls among the community (ones who gave me stress ...although I forgive, I do not forget) and other situations not worth mentioning. As I say  ... rest if you must but please don't quit. 
            For myself, I had a month-long break last year because I had to take care of some health problems. Take care of yourself first, don't pressure yourself. Take Care!
Reply

Kidatash

But as of now. I'm just gonna say, do except more to come. I'm planning on making myself an update that better fits me but still makes Reservation's newer chapters available for others as much as possible.
          I don't know as of when, but I'll see if I can get it out soon enough given my situational and especially mental circumstances.
          
          Either way, it feels good to be back.

Kidatash

Okay. I'm back y'all. I apologize really heavily for my absence. I had to take a break from Social Media as a whole for a while since I've been having issues with my mental health. As of 2019 until around recently, I've been having another depressive episode, on top of being newly diagnosed with ADD. Between that and relocation my mind wasn't much in a creative state anymore so I decided to take a break and get myself together a little. 
          
          I don't know whether or not I'll be rejoining any book clubs or competitions as of now. I'm focusing on taking one step at a time with this and trying to find my footing in a new routine first. So far I'm doing good. These past few days I've been re-editing Reservation again and as of now, have updated the book, just with a few re-adjustments following a rewrite of planning and two new chapters. 
          
          I don't know if I'll be able to catch up with the book in illustrations, since following a improvement in art style I currently plan to redo the pre existing ones first alongside the ones for the new chapters. 

Martina_1996

Hello 
          I am reading your PJO OC guide and finally someone pointed out what I was searching for, common sense ! 
           I really need an advice  please check see on private m ,)

Kidatash

@HaileenRoss oh, hey, sorry for the late reply, was asleep with the different time zones and what not? What do you need help with?
Reply

Martina_1996

@kidatash I have sent several messages as I answered to each of the questions addressed in your OC PJO critical  book ,) 
Reply

Kidatash

I feel like I'm depressed. I don't know, I just don't seem to have the motivation to do anything anymore, and you know? It's gotten so bad these days I have to force myself to something. There are days all I want to do is lie in bed and sleep when I'm not wallowing in my loneliness. I don't know, I just feel alone these days, and demotivated, like I have no idea what to do with myself and have no one to turn to for answers. 
          
          I can't draw. I can't write. I tried, believe me. These past 3 weeks I really tried to make something of myself and atleast write an 18th chapter for Reservation. But every time I open the chapter, I'd write, stop, and not even half way through, look at it,close it, and give up. Like I just don't know what to make of it or just, lose the words all together. Though, to be be frank, this book's the only thing that seems to keep me going.But even then, I find myself looking at my notes and my tablet and just, giving up. 
          I haven't slept in a long time now. 
          
          I feel alone. Even when I have friends around me. They don't seem to understand this feeling, And the only person who does understand this feeling is happy now and have been getting help for it, and the last thing I want to do is bring all of that back to her and put a damper all over her happiness so, I'm afraid to admit I've been, keeping to myself around her. I don't know if she's reading this but if she does, I want to tell her not to worry about me. I want her to carry on and be happy, and hopefully meet up soon in future's time.
          
          Anyways, hopefully I'll be able to make something out of myself today. Even if I feel well, lost. 
          
          I don't know if there's even anyone reading this. But either way, it still felt good to atleast talk to people about it. At the most, hope this'd be enough of an explanation on why I've disappeared off the earth for these past two months. At the least, it's just a rant from someone who's lost their mind and trying desperately hard to find it.

Kidatash

@Kidatash thanks. I needed that. Thank god I'm not going crazy.
Reply

whitchayn

@whitchayn and also I think you are going through a writer's block. You need to relax and pamper yourself listen to other people's story then maybe you'll get an inspiration from that.
Reply

bluexgomez

Hey! ✨☁️
          
          Sorry for the long wait! The review for your book, “Reservation”, is ready and posted! Please check it out and tell me what you think!
          
          Congrats on 500 followers (:
          - bluexgomez x

Kidatash

@bluexgomez you're welcome, and okay.
Reply

bluexgomez

@bluexgomez Hey again! I'm very willing to answer these questions, but could you comment those *in* my review book? I personally prefer doing that, it's easier for me to compare what I wrote to what I'm about to tell you. Thanks.
Reply

Kidatash

@bluexgomez also, I'll see what I can do about that description. I'm still trying to find my feet as of now regarding the general plot, but hopefully I'll be able to fix it. Thank you for your advice and thank you for the review, it was extremely helpful and I really appreciate it. 
Reply