Dazai could gaslight, gatekeep, and girlboss me into the afterlife, and I'd still ask him to hold my hand on the way down ☠️. That man is 50% mystery, 50% menace, and 100% the reason I need therapy 🧠. He could fake his death for fun, flirt with a tree, and call me useless-and I'd write a thesis on why he's perfect 📜. I don't care if he's a walking red flag parade-I'm diving in headfirst, blindfolded, and smiling 😵‍💫❤️.