@Jamakool i think you write pretty well. Unsolicited advice as it may be, the only thing i can say, and if i remember right, was that on some chapters the pacing was off, things moving by too fast, and scenes changing too quickly. But if i remember right that was only at the beginning. I think the prologue was rushed and it immediately skimmed to the present/future. Thats fine. If this is your first time publishing or writing, it makes sense that you wanted to get to the main points of your story (or whatever the general idea about the story that you were imagining). Its nothing major though. Its still enjoyable by itself. And the later chapters get better. Its just predesposition thats tough. And do i know it. But anyway, ya dun needa worry bout it bud. Just work on your style and eventually the rest will come.
