Iggy44

Merry Christmas Eve! 

Iggy44

Soooo i got my marching band state championship next weekend! 
          
          Aaaaaaa 
          
          Lowkey kinda nervousss but i get to spend the weekend with them in tampa and we're also going to busch gardens! Im lowkey excited but i have 0 idea who ill be rooming with bc yeaa that's a long story XD 
          
          Anyhoo even tho its 1 am i get to find out abt all state results so hopefully i made it! Even tho i have no idea how itll all go down so yeaa.
          
          Im lowkey not worried abt it bc i got all state county band to work for so thats niceee 
          
          I also have to send my band director my solo for my tuba and that i wanted to do so hopefully that works outt 
          
          Anyhooo i rlly hope tmrw and practice goes well!
          
          Also my new favorite show is Lokii so anyone who had seen it lemme know bc im a newbiee but i suppose my new obsession is with loki and spiderman and marvell lolll

Iggy44

@Aravisthedragon ohhhh and thank youua
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Aravisthedragon

@Iggy44 and congrats on getting in 4th place
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Iggy44

Eeeeep. 
          
          I'm back with more bad news :( ofc usually the highlight if my life is bad news so oh welll. 
          
          I didnt make the step team after auditioning for around 2 yrs for it :( 
          
          Also it has come to my attention i dont think my mother will ever actually be intrested in knowing me but just controlling me! I honestly just got so numb to the point that i stopped caring abt anything and since i only have my bsf who seems to care and my sisters, im just so excited to graduate and move away and probably live alone and die alone
          
          Marching band is going well tho and i have all state county band that im auditioning for this weekend so hopefully things go well with me and my tuba :)

Aravisthedragon

@Iggy44  Thank you so much! (gives another big virtual hug)
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Iggy44

@Aravisthedragon Ofcccc! OML TYYY I LOVE BEING NICE TO PPL Ofccc! I'm alwayss hereee (also gives u a big virtual hugg) and TYYY UR SO SWEET AND KINDD OMLL
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Iggy44

I have 0 idea what to do anymore.
          
          My bsf of around 2 to 3 years has disappeared since she has moved 3 months ago. It appears she blocked me on discord at the same time as removing me from a group chat i was in. 
          
          I rlly want to make amends with her bc i was just rlly messed up since i had (and still kinda do) habe unhealed trauma and such. 
          
          My big sister is finally home and on leave from the Navy i know I'm supposed to be ecstatic to see her which i am, i just feel 0 emotions but i think it may have to do with this along with other things. 
          
          I just realized ive been so upset and mad all along i just bottled it up. 
          
          :( im losing hope some more. 

Iggy44

@Aravisthedragon honestly some things r easier said then done but since ive had a habit of concealing my emotions from family itll take a long time to break it. Even talking to ppl is difficult for me bc of it but hopefully things will work out. Ty for ur help! 
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Iggy44

@Aravisthedragon i felt like maybe i mightve bombarded her with my troubles consistently without realizing to the point she closed herself off and disappeard. I even asked her brother whos in my class if shes okay and he said she was in another state and hadnt rlly been able to talk to anyone. I was like oh that must be why but at the same time im not rlly sure abt anything regarding our friendship rn bc it seems to be on hold or smthing. My other bsf who also is in the process of moving still talks to me but idk bc maybe she seems better at communicating? Idk they both are exemplary at the subject but i still feel smthing is off with the first one whos in a different state rn. 
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Aravisthedragon

@Iggy44  Also, it's not worth it bottling up emotions. I know some stuff is tough to process and it might just be better to keep it to yourself. However, if you open your mouth, people can help you (fx: parents, guidance counselor, current friends) and give you advice so you can feel better and move forward. :)
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Iggy44

Your girl is here againnnn and i am starting to get serious abt my original works and one of them is called She's a Total Eclipse of My Heart with a playlist i made and artwork of the characters. I would like some of yall to read it plz bc its one i want to publish fr like at a acompany and such whem i go to college or smthing. There are more and I'll send each one here! 

Iggy44

Honestly i need some adviceee
          
          Sooooo theres this guy in my section in band and like so one of the guard members was dating him and when i got a ride home from one of the seniors last year she was like OMG HIS EX WAS SO MEAN UGH HES SO NICE AND SWEET OMG 
          
          Girlie was already in a relationship or crushing on someone and I have 0 idea how he got mentioned in our convo but im glad he did. 
          
          Anyhoo I think I like him but idk if im his type at all (mind u it would be an interracial relationship if if hypothetically works) but I have no idea what to do and just UGH bc hes so pretty and I FRIGGEN LOVE HIS HAIR AND HIS SMILE AND HOW GOOFY HE CAN BE AND JUST AGH. 
          
          So what shld i do?

Iggy44

@Aravisthedragon my twin sister said a similar thing, thank u!
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Aravisthedragon

@Iggy44  Honestly, I don't know. It's up to you. I suppose you should go with your gut feeling and intuition if you feel like it's best for you.  If you realize that your feelings for him aren't the same as they were before, accept those feelings and move on.
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Iggy44

As anyone seens either the Barbie movie or Oppenheimer? Bc i srsly havent and i feel like its illegal at this point not to see them 

Iggy44

@Aravisthedragon danggg they made like a 3hr film abt friggen Oppenheimer and i was like id totally go see it but my mom wants me to see barbie so like alr thenn XD
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Aravisthedragon

@Iggy44  Barbie: no unfortunately   Oppenheimer: I saw a CNN documentary on him.
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Iggy44

Hi guys I'm back! 
          
          Your girl here is at the end of it all :D
          
          Imma be graduating soon! 
          
          Anyhoo marching band is like such a vibe and so good and like UGH 
          
          But I'm backk!