Caroline Rain

The following is an excerpt from an interview between Patricia Blumbridge, the host of famed talkshow "My Thoughts on the Thoughts of Thoughtful People" and Caroline Rain, not nearly as famed and confused as to how she got on set. 

PB: Hello, Caroline! It's so great to see you again. I've been hoping for quite some time to get you on my show, rather than just meeting you in the cramped restroom of a three star establishment.

CR: We've met? And what show is this? How did I get here? Who are you?

PB: HA HA HA, oh, Caroline, I've heard all about your odd sense of humor, but it's a treat to be on the recieving end of it. For any of our viewers who are as clueless as you are pretending to be --

CR: I'm not pretending!

PB: -- I am Patricia Blumbridge, and this is my talkshow! You're here to talk, you know. That's what people do on talkshows. 

CR: Who would've thought. 

PB: Now, Caroline, we've got some questions for you. What is your name?

CR: Seriously? Ugh, Caroline Rain [REDACTED]

PB: How did you just make that sound with your mouth?

CR: Next question, please?

PB: Riiight... what are your pronouns?

CR: She/her, but I don't mind if you use anything else.

PB: Wonderful, we love our pronouns here. Now, Caroline... how old are you?

CR: I was born at least sometime in the preceeding years. 

PB: That's not vague at all. 

CR: Exactly! I can tell you that, at the time of this interview, I am in highschool, though that is subject to change within the next decade or so. 

PB: The... the next decade?

CR: Yep!

PB: All right.... Last question, Caroline. What inspired you want to write stories?

CR: I suppose the same thing that inspires any author. Reading them. 

PB: Well, that concludes our interview! Thanks for coming, Caroline, we'll see you next time!

CR: Can I go home now?

PB: Of course! A round of applause for Caroline Rain!

Studio Audience: *Silence*

CR: Please. I want to go home.