•. Cricket (they/he/ey/xe/fae/kit/bun/tea) .•

I went through a strange mental and emotional low two weeks ago to halfway through last week, no idea what it was, and I'm pretty much recovered now, but yay, I can't wait to start therapy again! ^-^

Oh, heck, I'm turning eighteen later today- 0-0 
          
          (It's 12:30am on August 31st where I live, so, it's my birthday. '^-^ ...I don't know how to feel about all the responsibility I'll have soon. 0-0)

Sometimes I remember that I'm almost eighteen... 
          Gosh, that feels so freaking strange to even think about...

I have a queerplatonic girlfriend who I'm very much in love with, and I've been making that my entire personality for at least a month. I think it may continue for at least another.

I have a serious Disney Z-O-M-B-I-E-S hyperfixation going on right now.

Holy, uh, heck, it worked. It actually worked. I'm back. Woah. 0-0

Coming back from my Wattpad slumber for a quick second to recommend "Encore!" to any Webtoon users. 
          
          (I think it's pretty amazing and I love it and I want to share that with others) 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_10qS7amjk
          
          my interpretation of this song: 
          "if you're not emotionally ready to be in a relationship, please don't be in one yet." 
          (i think that it's a really nice message, and it makes me feel like my feelings are valid ^-^) 
          
          what the song is actually about: 
          i don't know, but probably not what i'm getting from it. 
          ...but i'm still regarding my opinion on it as canon, so-

a few months ago, i, uh, i stimmed to this song/mashup. uhh... enjoy? i don't know. 
          
          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oT3mCybbhf0
          
          ...anyway, i personally like it.

my brain is saying that i should let me know that i need to talk to people (so that i don't continue to be bored or something), but even if i were to, i don't know what i'd even say. 
          
          i'm feeling odd in some way, and i don't like it. 
          
          boredom is only a small part of it.
          "lonely" doesn't exactly fit. 
          it's not sharp. 
          not intense. 
          dull, drowning, cotton, suffocation. 
          grey, white, more grey, and eternity of grey, blue. 
          reminding me of cement somehow. 
          cold. 
          really cold. 
          it's not from the outside, it's from within. 
          i don't want to feel like this. 
          i already feel this too often. 
          shivering.