HatsuneMiku1004

felt nostalgic and opened this account again :>>
          	
          	scrolling through message and reading lists and conversations - i had a lot of fun memories here ^^ 
          	
          	I guess, while im here, it's only proper to say "Hi!" :DDDD

HatsuneMiku1004

I was reading some old conversations on my profile and also on Leanna's page. And I just realized that its been 2 years- *shows 2 fingers* -2 flippin' years since we met @ShxtteredRoses @Reciinox @Chibi_Miku @Ccc8649JaZZz @Garrmau_NaLu_Maddie and @bigfivedonaldduckfan.
           Even if some of them aren't using wattpad anymore, I'm just really happy that I met these people and actually became friends with them. ∩(︶▽︶)∩ Yaaaaayyyyyy~!
          
          ~skl.wmp
          
          HatsuneMiku1004 | Kaela

HatsuneMiku1004

@ShxtteredRoses - That was thr longest hashtag I have ever seen but YASSSSS~!! X'D #SquadGoals
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HatsuneMiku1004

@ShxtteredRoses - I know right!?!? (/O.O)/
            For a bunch of internet friends and people saying internet friends aren't really your "real" friends, I'm pretty proud of what we achieved! XD
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HatsuneMiku1004

Do you guys know that feeling when you see other people cosplaying as anime/book characters and you're just there looking at them like their a majestic chalice filled with ice cream because your broke and none of the outfits in the store fit you?
          
          Yeah. That's exactly how I'm going to feel tommorrow... ;--; I cri.

Garrmau_NaLu_Maddie

Awe! I feel that mostly everywhere I go  California people are very expressive about what they like 
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HatsuneMiku1004

Hai guys ish meh Kaela,
          The worst author you've ever seen.
          
          I know... I'm not updating my book that often AGAIN. But, school. We all know that story.
          Sorry, nobody even reads my book anymore because of the ultra slow updates.
          
          Plus, I'm actually getting bullied. That's not really new to me. Since I was in 1st grade, I was already getting bullied. It doesn't matter what it is: Physically and Verbally. It's either because of how I look, what I do, the numbers that supposedly say who I am for example my weight, and did I mention how I look?
          Yup. I got bullied and I eventually got used to it.
          
          And the most painful thing ever said to me because they saw me cry at school and found out it was because I was getting bullied is, "You take it too seriously."
          
          Well, I'm sorry. WAS IT SUPPOSED TO BE A F***ING JOKE!?! 'CAUSE I'M NOT LAUGHING!
          Actually, if you didn't know I even considered killing myself. Yeah, I'm saying it, I thought of suicide at the age of f***ing 8 years old because of this bullying s**t. I wanted to end the pain but I didn't becuase I was too scared. Scared of no one caring.
          
          The worst part is my best friend said that. I don't even know if she considers me as a best friend.
          
          I developed social anxiety because of bullying. I get nervous breakdowns because of bullying. I can't be myself in public without getting criticized by other people.
          
          Sorry, if I'm don't like getting judged by other people, especially looks. Sorry, I can't anymore. I laugh with everyone: friends, family, relatives... I'm nice yeah. But, Im really not okay. I'm not fine. But, do people care? Do they ask? No, so I just shut the hell up.
          
          So, don't tell me that i take it seriously bcuz I hear it everyday. And it's convincing me that it is who I am. And I ever will be in other people's eyes. 
          
          So, yeah, this turned into a rant very quickly. I think I'll do this often now. in my message board. But, nobody is reading this cuz dey nu care. That's all.
          
          HatsuneMiku1004 | Kaela

Garrmau_NaLu_Maddie

You will one day! :) And they will always have your back. And also stay happy, force a smile if you have to. That fake smile will sooner or later become a real smile! I did that when I felt a bit like you do, and now I don't have bullying problems. Smiling will make it seem like you don't care about what they are saying or doing, and they'll just back off hopefully. Smiling will also help you stay strong (again hopefully, I'm 99% sure though) 
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HatsuneMiku1004

@Garrmau_NaLu_Maddie - Thanks Maddie~!! Dis made me cri... seriously. T^T
            I just wish dat I would finally meet someone like you guys here...
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Garrmau_NaLu_Maddie

People always care, you just can't find them easily. But if you really search.... you'll find them. And most of your friends here REALLY care. If I haven't met you on this, I wouldn't have that change that YOU helped me develop. I wouldn't be the weirdo I am, and I hope you one day fight them back or just shrug them off. Once you get used to the bullying it's hard to shrug off, but you will find a way. So please, just believe, for now, that's a thing you need, also a real friend and just know that all of us that follow the people that follow you and the people that follow the people that follow you that follow you care also. Ok I just confused my self!  
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