I have went through something similar, and let me tell you, it’s hell. A couple of years ago I homeschooled because we moved states and it was a long process, so instead of leaving I just had books to carry around. I hated it, and in the next year and a half, I tried to enroll in my new state, but then both me and my parents found out that the homeschooling system we chose was faulty, meaning I just missed about two years of school. It’s messed me up, so instead of going to 9th grade, I was dropped down to 8th. It was terrible, I was so much older then most of these kids.
As of right now I’m in 10th, supposed to be in 11th, in my honors classes to finish early. Yeah, my whole system is just wack, and better yet, this year a lot of the kids in here are freshmen, meaning that they’re 14–15, and I’m turning 17 next month. It’s a nightmare. My mom puts so much stress on me, sometimes if feels like I can’t breathe... I feel so stupid too, being a junior in some freshman grade level stuff and I can’t do anything about it...
I’m sorry you’re going through what you did, but never ever think ending it is the right choice in life. You’re not a retard, definitely nowhere near it! Don’t think you’re alone. Everyone is different, but just know, I’m always here for you, always. Pm me if you need ANYTHING. If you just want to talk, if you have a comment or a rant about life, if you saw something funny today, anything. <3