Hailey

My name is Hailey-yeah I know what you're thinking "Hasn't this chick had a thousand different names?" And yes, I have. Hailey is my birth name, no nicknames or fakes to cover up. 

In my small group of friends I'm the introverted, clumsy, anxiety-ridden Geek. I love Alternative/Punk/Rock music, singing, drawing, animals (Fox's are my favorite), and writing.

I've been in this god forsaken earth of fourteen dreadful years. I can't say I've accomplished anything I'm proud of, or that I've gotten out of my shell that much. I'm out there, just not as much as I want to be. I don't have a large amount of friends, and I didn't have ANY until fifth or sixth grade.  My life has been a series of ups and downs and I'm confident enough to say there are a lot of downs. I'm still as grief ridden as all of you for the loss of Anahlia and I will never get over it. Ever. 

I don't know if I'm writing this because it will never get seen or that I just need to get it off my chest. I don't know. 

I finally admitted to my mother that I have had some problems with my emotional state- random bouts of sadness where I just feel like nothing matters and I just shouldn't smile. There's no reason behind it. I just get sad. When I told her, she chocked it up to be 'teenage angst' or 'I was just emotional because I was getting close to my period'. I am such and introverted, self-conscious person that I never tell anyone anything that I think is wrong with me. I took a big step telling her. I just wanted someone to talk with, to have her actually get me to talk to a professional because I am sick and tired of stewing in self-loathing. 

I wrote this because I needed to get it off my chest. It's not like I'll come back to here anytime soon. And if anyone says anything about 'just crying for attention' I WILL personally find you and sock you in the jaw. Good day, 
Hailey 

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