Faye

 #Rant
          Sometimes, life is unfair and complicated. I've always obeyed and never complained, pero ngayon, kailangan ko pa ring sumunod at umintindi? masakit na. In another universe siguro, I'm genuinely happy and never had any complications in tough situations. Siguro, hindi ako top student na walang social life dahil puro aral iniintindi. Suicidal naman ako? pero hindi ko alam kung saan ko nakukuha yung courage na mabuhay at mag aral. Gusto kong mag aral nang mag aral. Bibigyan ko sarili ko ng magandang buhay. At kung darating man sa point na gugustuhin kong mag settle at mag anak, I'll give them my everything; I'll support them mentally, physically, and emotionally.
          Sana, sa ibang buhay, nagagawa ko na gusto ko nang walang pag aalinlangan. 
          
          Bakasyon pa rin, natatakot ako sa darating na pasukan. Takot na takot. Hindi ko na makaya yung academic thirst na nararamdaman ko. Wala akong halaga kung wala akong medalya.
          Nakakatakot. Pano pag mag fail ako? hindi ko yata makakaya yon. Gusto ko na lang magbasa ng mga libro, all genres. Gusto ko na lang maging masaya. Sana isa na lang ako sa mga fictional character na masayang nabubuhay sa little bubble nila. Libro at Pag aaral ang kandungan ko, kaso, ito rin ikakasira ko.

May B+ ako sa Isang subject, I guess I got too distracted sa app na 'to, I'm literally sobbing right now and I freaking had a mental break down in the middle of the class. I'll delete this app muna. I don't deserve to have peace of mind and to have a free time to read. I'll be back once makabawi. I can't take that B+ shit. 

I just realized that I've read millions of books already, hindi lang dito sa Wattpad. pero I still get the kilig over such cringey scenarios sa fictional books. Which is a good sign for me. 
          
          Just organized my reading lists here, but don't trust my ratings at all — give those stories a try.  My standards are way too high para mag rate ng 10/10 sa mga libro ngayon, wala na yatang plot nakaka gulat sa akin. I've explored a lot of books, genres, and authors. 
          Learned a lot of lessons from them, they enhanced my whole being, which I'm very thankful for. 
          
          Things I noticed from Tagalog stories/Communities nowadays are: Mga description ng appearance ng mga characters that are not filipino type of features at all, takot na takot I embrace ang sariling atin? (wow I'm so makabayan.), common ways of writing, (which is fineee, I like it) common plots, common type ng male leads, common hate sa mga babaeng antagonist tapos hype na hype sa mga lalaki. Then kapag nag cheat yung male lead, sila pa rin nung female lead endgame. and people still have the guts to ask for the guys' reasons. 
          
          Too many to mention, so bye! also, Merry Christmas everyone (⁠✯⁠ᴗ⁠✯⁠)
          
          

I love historical fics sm 

I HATE WATTPADIANS NA LAGING CINOCONNECT FAVORITE CHARACTERS NILA SA MGA TOTOONG TAO, like sa mga areums ba yun? and jsls. lagi ko silang nakikita sa mga comment section ng mga taong may konting similarity sa favorite characters nila sa Wattpad. Tapos sasabihin anong masama? naiirita na mga portrayers niyo kuno kaka compare sa fictional characters niyo na kailan man di magkakatotoo, pipilit niyo pa din sarili niyo na "ackkk hiro vibes" etc.