@Haikyuu_is_gay_bitch also I'd like to make a quick suggestion and please don't take it the right way.
So in my experience of writing/reading, I find it easier to read when there's spaces between lines/paragraphs.
So rather than it being one big paragraph, it's more spaced out (like this)
Again, just a suggestion, totally optional. But I find that spacing stuff out like that keeps people attention better whereas not a lot of people wanna read when it's all one huge paragraph.
Either way, I think your book So far is pretty good<3