2021 was the year with new beginnings for me. The first step in the long run of being a doctor. The first step in achieving my dreams. This is also the year that finally started writing as well. Short stories. Small poems or just quotations. My own thoughts. This year, I also started my first ever job, and as a girl who had always dreamt of standing on my own two feets, I'm proud of myself.
This year, I turned 20. An adult. And have dedicated the entire 365 days in learning and surviving- the academic pressure, my own self doubts, and my family's expectations on me. I was scared (still am, honestly.) but still made it this far.
But my biggest regret would be my deprivation. The lack of passion because of how dull the world was around me. I was tense the whole time with my never ending thoughts, questions I couldn't find answers for, and my own self-consciousness. I was bored (just stress taking different forms really) and gave into it too many times than I would like to admit to myself, or anyone for that matter. And I am guilty. For the time I wasted doing almost nothing, but just sitting and staring at things with my mind at places I still don't know. (this happened too many time this year lol).
So, I hope, in 2022 I could stand in front of my emotions and lead them (as gently as possible) rather than being led by them. I hope, I'm able to ignite the passion the dream of becoming a doctor again in me which the covid, online classes, and absolutely no social life has dulled. I hope, I can arrange my thoughts in a much better way than to indulge with them every time. I hope I can be better as a human being, a daughter, a friend, a medical student, a writer and everything I want to try this new year.
And if I'm not able to, I hope I'll still be able to cradle my heart and love myself and be lenient with myself and have it in me to forgive myself for my mistakes and lackings.
Signing off with 2021. Welcome 2022.
Happy New Year. ❤
