🌘𝕍𝕖𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕥𝕠 𝕒𝕝 𝕔𝕙𝕚𝕒𝕣𝕠 𝕕𝕚 𝕝𝕦𝕟𝕒🌒

TW!!! s//h, rant, su!c!d3, relapse, abandonment 
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          God damnit i fucked it up again. I was so close. I was almost clean for a whole year. Why couldn't I just hold out for another month. Why did I fucking do it. Why are things getting bad again. Why can't I be happy. Why can't I just get a simple "good job" or "I'm proud". Why do I have to be the one taking care of people. I wanna be taken care of too. I wanna feel good again. Why does my brain make me lash out at people. Why does my brain make me hurt myself. Maybe if I just fucking off myself properly this time it would be better. No one would notice. Not like they would care. They constantly leave me out. They never acknowledge my existence. I bet it'd take them weeks to even notice at best. And even then they'd probably be happy. I just wanna feel loved again. I don't like being hit and yelled at. I don't. I don't like being the friend that everyone goes to for support and then completely ignore the next day. I wanna help, I really do, but I wanna be helped too.

Bro imagine not having a loving and caring relationship with your partners. Couldn't be me. I'd give them both the world. #nolongeralone

Guess who just threw up their insidesss??
          This bitch right here B)

EVERYONE STOP FUCKIN MOVING. TUBBO IS IN THE USA.

For some reason people follow me.
          
          What are you guys gonna be for halloween?? I'm gonna be Wylie from 'Coraline'

Current biggest fear is that someday I'll relate to the song 'soulmate who was never meant to be' by Jess Benko. 
          Anyways.

I'm so tired, yet my brain won't stop thinking. The moment I think I'm safe, they just start back up again. It's not even sad, cry myself to sleep thoughts. It's literally just 
          "Teehee I fucked your dad. Wait is my dad gay? Why would he be gay if he's engaged to my mom? But didn't he say he dated a guy in highschool?" And it just. Keeps going. Please, help.

Yo someone name my minecraft bee plush.

Going to camp, kinda nervy

I haven't had a genuine hug in probably months.
          
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          Anyways, have the names of my stuffed animals, what animal they are, pronouns, and how I got them. I'm telling random people because no one will sit for an hour and listen to my talk about my undying love for my stuffies.
          
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          Robert is a sloth, and he uses he/him pronouns. He was one of my first stuffed animals, and I bought him at a thrift shop for $2.75.
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          Webble is another OG, and they use she/they pronouns. My aunt won her at a carnival game on my birthday.
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          Stephan is a hippo and he uses he/him pronouns. He was a Christmas present from my best friend. He also came with some candies, scented stickers, and a pack of crayons.
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          Penny is a little pony, and she uses she/her pronouns. My grandpa gave her to me after his horse, (who was also named Penny) passed.
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          Betty is deer and she uses she/her pronouns. My grandma bought her for me at Costco.
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          Poppy is a pink bunny with she/her pronouns. Poppy is technically not mine, but my mama's. She told me to look over her because she was very important to her.
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          Spike is hedgehog that uses he/him pronouns. He was meant to be a dog toy, so he has a squeaker in his paw. 
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          Ari is a dumbo octopus (look them up. They will male your day better) and they use they/them pronouns. I ordered them off of a random sight for a zoo, and it came with a little note basically thanking me for adopting Ari.
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          Sun is a plague doctor who uses he/him pronouns. He has a matching pair that my girlfriend has. (Fun Fact: the one my gf has is named Sin, so it Sun and Sin. Kinda like a yin yang. :])
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          Spiff is a stuffed pig with he/they pronouns. They made by my grandma awhile ago.
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          Spoof is a sheep with any pronouns. Spoof and Spiff are best friends, and we're literally made to be friends by my grandma.
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          And last be not least, there's Patch. Patch is a little voodoo-ish doll that my girlfriend made from random sewing scraps. Scrap doesn't believe in gender.
          
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