Coolrena

I can’t help but feel like my very existence is a burden causing others to waste their times dealing with my annoying bs
          	
          	I’m so selfish to live
          	
          	I really should die
          	I already destroyed my own life, what’s the point of living anymore at this point?

RavenSpiritLin

@Coolrena It's been two years since you left. I recently just joined Wattpad and Hermittpad... I found your account and saw all the kind messages here. I wish I had gotten to talk to you, gotten to know you, gotten to help you. I'm so sorry that I didn't find Hermittpad sooner. From what I've seen, your existence impacted so many people positively. I hope you know that, I hope you're able to see all these messages.
          	  Rest well up there. Happy Year of the Rabbit.
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EmberDragon34

@Coolrena I... never knew you. Never read your books, or found your account, until now. Another person I’m following implied that you’d died, so I came over to see. 
          	  I lost one of my friends just over a year ago, and I know what it’s like to loose someone you love,
          	  Fly high, @coolrina
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Ec1ipticShadow

to anyone else who might come here anytime in the future: a week ago, i got the chance to visit rena's grave, and i know that i'll have the chance to visit it again in the future. i've been thinking of compiling all the things people have said here and either writing or printing them out onto notes to leave with her the next time i get to visit. however, there's... a lot. there's a lot of things people have said, and i'm not sure if i'll even be able to share everything. so, i'll do my best to get as many messages as i can, and between now & the next time i *do* visit if anyone else writes anything i'll write them down for her. i know this page is almost like its own gravestone, in a way, but i do want to connect the two together in some way. 
          
          and to rena: hi! words are hard, and i've been struggling to type for the past while so i'll keep this short. i'm sorry things happened this way, and i wish i'd done more. because i was there, but i wasn't really *there*. at all. and i'm sorry i didn't do more. you've touched the lives of so many people, whether you were their closest friend or just a username in someone's mind, and i hope that you're doing alright wherever you are. you won't be forgotten.

TheIceOfTheorys

Hey rena, a visit has been overdue, hasn't it? 
          
          Anyways, im in highschool now, and i have matured. (atleast, i'd like to imagine so) Anyways, now im doing techical theater as an extracuricualar, (My ability to spell has not changed) and i have been both a stage manager and im currently a floor manager for my school musical. (We have a bit to go before tech week though.)
          
           I have have many regets, but one of them not being able to tell you that you were one of many big  hermittpad people (Does that make sense? I could also just be putting words. ) that inspired me to write in the first place. To be honest, i barely my time in hermittpad, i mean i know i was a cringe child (Speaking on child, im pretty i was under 13, so woopsies!) I also know that people had the patience to put up with me. Looking back on it, I was too much, wasn't i? 
          
          I feel like i should share this, but Ican barely remember anyone from hermittpad, much less what they were like. However, i know that they meant alot to me at the time, (yes that includes you.) and i still remember hermittpad on occasion. Thats why in talking (Typing?) to you now, hermittpad popped into my brain. 
          
          At this point im running out of things to say, but i dont want to stop talking. (typing?) At this point ive forsaken grammer (not like ive ever used it anyways.)
          
          I just i have to go now, but i have found the last few things i want to say.
          
          Firstly, I would like to give a very late happy birthday x2
          
          Secondly, I miss you so much, i may not remember much about you, but i remember i miss you.
          
          Thirdly, i really want to revisit hermittpad, i atleast want to tie up loose ends.
          
          I suppose i have nothing else to say.
          So i guess this is farewell for now.
          
          I wish i could go back to 2019, and i wish i could go back with everything i knew now.
          Goodbye for now rena, we all miss you, that is something i feel like can never be said enough.

TheIceOfTheorys

I did not realise it would be that long, sorry folks.
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cutecat_forreal

Baby- 
          
          I have not posted here for a while. But I miss you every single day: when I saw a baby, or when I saw a girl, or when it is a holiday, or when we travel without you. 
          
          It is 2024 but I do not want to say bye to 2023, or 2022 or 2021. I hope I can go back up 2020 to the day so I can change everything.  I wish I could stay with you that day so you would never find any opportunity to stay home by yourself.  I should have checked in and ensure you were ok when they texted me to come home by 7:30pm. If I checked I would never allow Dad take your brother out and leave you by yourself. 
          
          I should also have told you if you are not here nobody will help mommy shop for beautiful clothes, nobody will text me silly emojis as well as texts telling me she loves me…. nobody, if your brother is not available, will take care mommy when I am sick or older. This might help you change your mind? 
          
          I wanted to tell you millions of times that I love you and hug you gazillion times, and keep snuggling with you and won’t let you go, my baby. 
          
          Baby, one day in my dream of you, I was about to take you to a swimming pool to have fun but then you were kidnapped by others…  I was screaming and rushed to save you .. till I wake up finding you no where to be found. 
          
          Another day, in my dream, I was holding you in my hand and all the sudden you had some life threatening symptoms so I was freak out and tried to save you …. 
          
          All these nightmares. Even so, I was able to at least spend the time with you in these dreams. 
          
          Baby, I got your some Christmas gifts including a dress, I am imagining how tall you are now ….and your brother got you a sculpture with two dolphins, one representing him and one representing you.
          
          Miss you so much Baby. Hope you know that mommy misses you every single day. 

cutecat_forreal

Yesterday was your birthday, my baby. We did not forget about that. Actually, me your brother and Dave came together to << celebrate >>  at Taiwan for your birthday and of course the most important to tell you how much we missed you. It is my fault that I did not protect you and was not able to protect you. Mommy love you so much, baby! It is so hurtful to go back to China without you. It is so hurtful to think that I am not able to organize a birthday party for you with you physically here. 
          
          Happy birthday my baby. It is such an honor to have you as my daughter. You are the most wonderful, beautiful, smartest, and sweetest girl. 

achilliesonmain

I had to count, to make sure that it has been three years. That’s a long time, that’s a little over one fifth of my life so far. You’ve been gone but I still think of you, I still share your memory, and I still keep our stories going. Most importantly, I still love you and miss you!! 

cutecat_forreal

Today is your day, my dear. A day that I will never forget. A day that turned me upside down. A day that unbearable pain kicked in. A day that tore me apart. A day that a hole appeared in my heart. 
          
          Miss you so badly, my baby. Love you forever!!!